It's the weekend. That means I have far too much spare time to browse blogs. I came across a thread in a few different blogs (Dead Bug , Fractured Fairytale , and Here Be Hippogriffs) referring to the utter fabulousness of husbands during the mad times of infertility. I like to think that I acknowledge the difficulty of my husband's role in this whole experience, but I doubt he feels as if I do. Though The Dude has been given strict instructions to avoid reading my blog under penalty of smiting, I will list some reasons that make him worthy of my blogworld worship.
-Though we met in the US, he lived in the UK throughout most of the first 2 years of our relationship. Three months into our relationship he had to fly back home due to visa restrictions. I spoke to him for hours on the phone once a week and told him how much I missed him. A few weeks later I came home from school to find a strange car in my driveway and him sitting in my kitchen. After our previous phone call he decided that a spontaneous trans-Atlantic flight was required.
-We had a big fight once and he had black silk roses sent to me with a note to say something to the effect that I was poisonous and would sabotage any relationship intentionally. This may seem anything but positive, yet he knew the closet goth in me would love the sentiment. I phoned him up, called him nasty names, we laughed about it and made up. Make of that what you will.
-When we first started dating I was a virgin. The saint waited two years until I was ready to take that step. Granted, he doesn't let me forget that now.
-On my first trip to the UK to visit him, he organised a series of trips to Paris and Ireland for me despite being unemployed and not having much money to spare.
-He didn't hate me when I turned down his proposal. I say turned down, what I really mean is I nearly vomited and THEN said no. What can I say...I was young and terrified.
-He listens to music that I would never listen to, even in my weakest emotional state. We're talking boy bands and sentimental ballads a la Richard Marx. He acknowledges this weakness of character and embraces it.
-He was never much of an animal person and I'm an animal lover. Now when I show him a picture of a cat and dog getting along in perfect harmony, he says with much conviction, "That is so cute!" Add to that his boundless love for our canary.
-Carrying on the canary theme...Though just a small, unassuming bird, we have managed to create a massive imaginary personality for him. The Dude and I regularly incorporate him into discussions and refer to him as if he were human. Sample: "Oooo...Desmond is going to be pissed that we're home so late tonight. We'll never hear the end of it." OR "Desmond says he didn't like the film we watched last night. He plans on taking action." The Dude says things like this with no hint of sarcasm, and nods his head in agreement when I make such comments.
-When my grandfather died last year, he answered the phone call from my mom to say that my grandfather was gone. I was in the room and could tell from his manner what happened. Without saying a word he hugged me while I cried. As he was holding me I realised he was crying also for a man he only met twice.
-He agreed to give up the life we were creating in the US so we could move to the UK. He was hesitant, but wanted to give me the opportunity to live in a different culture just as he had.
-He has told his boss that he will accompany to all my fertility appointments, even the three times a week scans, whether they can accommodate him or not.
-Despite his fear of all things poon when medical procedures are involved, he came into the room for my IUI. I could tell he was getting a bit woozy when the speculum appeared and Good Lady Cooter Poker said the word "scrape" in connection with my reproductive organs, but he soldiered on.
-The bulk of our verbal interaction is structured by quotes from movies and television. Random, arcane quotes in most cases that few others would find funny. How many other people would cast me a knowing smile when the words "Banana hammock", "You're out of your element!" or "Your mom goes to college!" are spoken?
-He has an MBA and will be starting an MA soon yet he still has the low-brow sense of humour of a 10 year old boy.
-That said, he can watch an Adam Sandler movie one minute and an Eddie Izzard DVD the next.
-He doesn't tell me to get over it when I cry because the supermarket has run out of bananas, nor does he say that when I'm still crying about the banana shortage 20 minutes later.
If those aren't reasons to canonise someone, I don't know what are.