I'm again beginning to wonder what I've done to piss people off. My traffic is beyond abysmal lately and I can't figure out why. Perhaps it's the sudden shift in newly pregnant bloggers and blog readers and my constant whinging and neverending cynicism having driven them away. Maybe it's because it's the summertime and people aside from myself have far better things to do than read blogs, I don't know. Back to these pregnant bloggers...seriously, what is with this wave of fertility? Of course it's fab, and I'm particularly thrilled for longtime IF blogging stalwarts like DeadBug and Jen at FertilityNow! because lord knows they've paid their dues. When I first stumbled upon IF blogs I visited DeadBug and Jen a bit obsessively, so for them to finally have something to be happy about makes me happy too.
This oven, however, remains empty. The temperature isn't even on. It don't go. I'm thinking of starting a programme - No Infertile Left Behind. Who's with me? As long as I'm not the last infertile standing, I think I'll be fine. I'll still bitch though, because...well, that's what I do.
Since you've asked so kindly, I'll tell you how my wand-waving with Dr WHYBAML went on Wednesday. May I just say, this is no fleeting romance. All you naysayers out there take heed -it's Pru + WHYBAML 4 eva. Totally. I must confess my love waned for just a moment when he said whilst wanding, "Hmm...a lot of cysts on those ovaries. Very characteristic of PCOS." Uh, no shit WHYBAML, that's why we're here. I know you think I like a good cooter poking numerous times a week for two weeks straight for the hell of it, but if I was there for the action I can get better at home. You know, if I was even up for it in the first place.
WHYBAML remains optimistic however, so as of yet there is no need to have the carving on my arm of his name covered up. The scan was only done on day 4, so aside from the numerous cysts, there isn't much going on up in here. It may all start to happen now though, as I have been given clearance for the first time in my prolific IUI career to use the Puregon Pen, or as the Yanks call it, the Follistim Pen. Regardless of its name, I get to stab my abdomen daily with relish. It is one cute pen...and the carrying case? Don't get me started. I am also loading up on the Metformin, Letrozole and folic acid, so surely some good has to come of this, right?
My next poking is on Monday. WHYBAML has conveniently arranged it for after work, so I have no need to come up with any cryptic excuses as to why I have to leave in the middle of the day to go to the hospital. As I was leaving the appointment on Wednesday, WHYBAML patted me on the back. I choose to interpret it as an "Atta girl...getting all jacked up on hormones and submitting to wandings. Way to take one for the team!" pat rather than an, "Poor soul. Poor, barren little creature. Maybe someday your freakishly polycystic ovaries will asist in the conception of a child." pat.
So that is where I stand, or rather, sit with my legs open wide in the stirrups. Same thing. I'm finding it difficult to feel anything aside from ambivalence for this cycle, despite the fact that it's the first one we have to pay for. You would think that would make me even more keen for it to work, but I'm quite blase at the moment. I know it's early days, but all this has gone on for three long years and I don't know if I have any emotion left, good or bad. At least I have WHYBAML.
21 comments:
Hey, this barren bitch is still hanging out here. But I'm not joining the club for fear of being the last one standing.
You're not alone. We are still out there with you - and grateful not to be left behind. Good luck this cycle and keep posting, you barren bitch!
Wow. That last comment is a hard act to follow. Anywho, can I join the club?? I too have a fear of being the Last Infertile Standing, which probably stems in part from always being the Last Uncoordinated Person Picked for Volleyball. (Tho I don't blame everyone in my 8th grade gym class-- I really sucked at volleyball).
Is that blog spam? WTF?
Anyway, I know what you mean. So seriously incredibly majorly happy for all the fantastic people with the good news, but waiting and waiting for my turn. At least we're not alone on this side of things.
Whoa that comment by "Thought and Humor" is truly the most bizarre blog spam that I have seen.
Anyway, my traffic has dropped through the floor as well, despite my prodigious writing skills. I don't think I've picked up any new readers in some time. I think 1) lots of people are on holiday, 2) google changed their algorithm recently so weblogs don't come up in the top search results, 3) no doubt, some of the newly pregnant or new parents are reading less of the infertility blogs now as they move on to another phase of life and attempt to put infertility behind them.
All theories, of course.
Fret not about your traffic, dear heart. There are peculiar blips on the traffic radar sometimes, but I don't think it's you. It's always hard to feel left behind, kicking heels in the dust. I know.
I've been checking in at least every other day, but you didn't have many posts there for a while, which may have affected traffic. I didn't know google had changed their algorithm, I was noticing that I hardly get any google hits any more so thanks to susan for the explanation.
I was also wondering about you as you didn't seem to be dropping by my blog as recently, so perhaps we're all in the same boat.
Glad that Dr WHYBAML is living up to their name, at least in part. And have fun with the pen. Although it got me to a bad place, I found it a very unstressy piece of equipment. Not to mention the cute bag.
And you have ME, ME damnit!
Oh, and I was thinking -- maybe if you just relax, you'll get pregnant.
Don't forget too that if you subscribe to a blog through bloglines it doesn't count as a hit when someone is reading it.
I subscribe to you through bloglines and you have 24 subscribers there.
I'm still here with you. Glad you're moving forward.
Hey - what am I? Chopped Liva? I'm still infertile - do I count?
What did I miss? You deleted tht before I had a chance to read it :(
Julie from Tales from the Stirrups
Damn, did I miss something good and juicy in the Comments section?? Pru, we still love you even if you are a barren bitch.
Thanks, Ms. Pru--for a stalker, you're very sweet. And not too scary!
Good luck with the sexiness that is the Follistim/Puregon pen. My tip: ice, ice, ice!
Hoping this cycle takes you to the other side...
What ARE you bitching about - you're so cool you even get BLOG SPAM.
Pshaw - wish I was that cool!
I'm still here, popping in almost every day. Which blows Susan's Theory #3 outta the water. I have not abandonded my barren bitches!
Will slink off now.
As you can see by the number of comments, I don't think your traffic has gone anywhere! And yes, there does seem to be an explosion of pregnant IF bloggers lately. How can I get in on that?
So, is it better that Dr WHYBAML gave you an 'atta girl back pat rather than an 'atta girl ass slap?
Pru, I'm still here reading you regularly through Bloglines, but I've been a little comment-shy recently, not quite sure where I fit in at the moment. Pulling for you and the rest of the No Infertile Left Behind club.
--Bugs
I'm a huge lurker, not a good commenter, but I'm still here reading you! And I can tell you the Met + Letrozole + Puregon + Folic acid recipe worked wonders on my stubborn polycystic ovaries. I'm sure you'll get good results, esp. with a dr like Dr. WHYBAML.
Good luck with all the hormones!
Rooting for you and everybody in the Club.
WhatEVER!
You of 21 comment fame... and look at some of those commenters... you've got actual BLOGSTARS reading this site! B. Mare? Pamplemousse? Deadbug and others?? They probably don't know my Thin Pink Line from... from... (scratching head... trying to think of something insignificant)... from lint!
Blog stats are down... PSHAW!!
I for one... as one of your most loyal readers have not had internet access for a whole WEEK -- the horror-- so that at least accounts for my lack of contribution.
Oh... and of course... I too... remain utterly barren.
Siiigh.
Delurking to let you know that you're not the last one standing. 3 years and counting and the novelty is starting to wear off (and half way through another IUI cycle - oh and I live in the UK - we've so much in common!). I love your blog by the way.
You can't get rid of me that easily. I'LL be the last infertile standing. I wasn't very good in school, so those programs never worked for me, like "No Child Left Behind" or something like that. They forgot I'm still there ;)
Emily
I'm still here too, I've been away a lot this summer, so catching up is sometimes slow. I'm hoping it's just summer - either that or something really stinks at home (or maybe it's the new news). Actually it's not the traffic that's died down so much as the comments.
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