Oh, the shock my brother would endure if he knew I quoted his beloved Dave Matthews Band. Though I hate them and would rather listen to a cow giving birth on a hot summers' day, I always found that line kind of funny. Little did I know how appropriate it would be years later vis-a-vis my Good Lady Cooter Poker dalliances.
Tomorrow I have my first cooter poking in about 3 months. Ah, how I've missed thee. While I was in the bath tonight, I got to thinking about the shift of importance in these meetings over time. At first, it was a massive deal for me and I spent about an hour the night before preparing myself -- tidying up my business, scrubbing, shaving, waxing, giving cooter pep talks...the usual. I made sure to wear appropriate clothing that would not give away too much (I'm not that kind of girl), nor would it be too limiting. I would timidly walk into the room, and blush when GLCP said, "You can take off your panties behind that curtain." because despite my blog brashness, I'm a prude at heart. When it came time for contact, I would stare at the ceiling and pretend that I was not actually being vaginally violated by a condom-covered microphone looking thing. By the way, am I the only one that thinks it looks like that stupid microphone (albeit a bit thicker) that Bob Barker used on the Price is Right? I am? I suspected as much...
Oh, how times have changed. Nary a spare thought is devoted to preparation of the Venus Mound now because frankly, who cares? GLCP has seen this snatch so many times in various states of hairiness and unhairiness that I sincerely doubt she is making mental notes. Painted toenails? For amateurs. I scoff at you. I'm barely in the room and the panties are off, hell, if I even wore any to begin with. GLCP cannot even utter a cheery "hello!" before I'm up on the chair, legs splayed and ready to go. Rather than uncomfortably glancing at anything but GLCP and the ultrasound screen, I'm making jokes and having conversations about bum ovaries.
Who said infertility doesn't help you grow as a person?