For the love of IF

As I have mentioned before, Puregon Pen is (was) my new pet. I have no need for it any longer, but I've kept it in my fridge for a rainy day. You know, if I randomly feel like stabbing myself in the gut with a faux pen for the rush. I do not, however, have the same feelings for the evil Cetrorelix (Cetrotide for Yanks) injection, which butchered my stomach, rendering it unrecognisable. Er, or bruised it a bit.

Gather round, gather round:
I know, ew. Also, I apologise for the unbuttoned pants. The bruise was at the beltline and the only way I could flaunt it was by undoing my cords. Molly should be pleased though, she's always trying to get me to take my clothes off. I also wanted to take a picture of myself with the syringe between my teeth whilst wrapping a bit of rubber just above my elbow, but The Dude thought it would be in poor taste.

Apparently Cetrorelix requires you to give the injection at a 45 degree angle, and I was never very good at geometry, hence the botched job. I was a bit concerned too, as I had to give myself one Cetrorelix injection every night for four days on the left side of my stomach. The right side was reserved just for the Puregon Pen. I envisioned a multi-coloured left side of my stomach, and as pretty as that would be, I didn't really want that to happen. It was bad enough that with the one bruise I had to keep pulling my shirt down at work to cover it. How would one explain such an oddly-placed bruise? Luckily, I somehow mastered the 45 degree angle and now all that's left on my stomach are the odd injection marks and a gradually fading yellowish-brown bruise.

All of these injections and pills (for those keeping score at home: 8 total, not including the pessaries yet to come) lead to one thing - IUI #4 that is to take place tomorrow. I'm quite ambivalent about it at the moment. I'm so accostomed to disappointment after these three very long years of nothing that it's hard to be even the slightest bit optimistic. I think I have a bit more faith in this cycle than the previous IUIs because it's a completely new regimen for me. This is the first one we have had to pay for as well, so it is yet another reason to hope it doesn't fail. I feel like I'm just going through the motions, and whatever happens, happens.

No doubt WHYBAML will pat me on the back tomorrow for yet another ovulatory well-done. I might even paint my toenails.