8/30/2005

Buggered

So I tested. I'm fucked, again. Er, I mean, it was negative.

14 days from the IUI today but still no sign of my period. I assumed it would show up right after the negative reared its ugly head, but as yet it has avoided me. I'm trying to assume that all is not lost until my period appears, but I'm kidding myself, aren't I? It's like a double edged disappointment -- I'm disappointed now because a negative pregnancy test is never good, and I'll be disappointed in a moment when I get my period.

The Dude is upset, again. Again again again. He spouted his usual, "Please don't feel guilty, it's not your fault!" sentiment, but amazingly I remain unconvinced.

With each failed cycle I wonder more and more how people even get pregnant, because it seems like such an elusive, unattainable bastard.

Oh yeah, and for added spiteful measure, IUIs suck and I wish I never would have wasted my time. To all reading this that will be/are presently undertaking that course of treatment, I apologise. I'm sure I'll have a little less vitriol for the procedure in about 800 years' time.

23 comments:

K said...

I'm sorry about the neg. and IUI's do suck!

Alexa said...

So sorry about the negative...

ms pickled eggs said...

Fuckity fuck. Time to crack open the vodka? (Hey, I've just realised we're cycle buddies. Shall we start a fluffy group and spread babydust? No? Oh. *makes sad face*)

Em said...

Sorry. Your words will ring in my ears if my doctor suggests an IUI. Hope you and the Dude get through the disappointment. I don't need to tell you how shit it is.

elle said...

Well, not to be the annoyingly cheery woman, but you still didn't get the CB. On some ttc boards I have seen women who don't get positives until 15dpo. So...but still, I know how aggravating & frustrating & just plain shitty it is. My IUI didn't work either (I only had one). So I decided to take a couple of cycles off & here is what I learned 1) my RE triggered me too early - next time I am going to ask for a sonogram the day they want me to trigger - no assumptions on how much the follies grew in 2 days & 2) I need to demand to be on progesterone support, since they didn't think I needed it. Hope my assvice is helpful in some way.

mm said...

Flying rat turds! I'm so sorry. Will you be having a beta?

Nico said...

Negative pee-sticks suck. The pussaries will definitely make it take longer for you to see CB - I went from 10 days after my first IUI (no pussaries) to 16 after the second (pussaries).

MsPrufrock said...

MM: Beta? Haha. Hahaha. Uh, haha. Sorry. Now that my composure is regained, I don't think they do such things here, hence my cluelessness when other bloggers mention them. No, you're all on your own to pee on sticks and be miserable with the results.

Ms PE: Fuckity fuck indeed. Babydust for everyone!!

Em: Don't listen to me. I'm just a bitter, evil bitch at the moment. I'm told IUIs work for some.

Nico: Who the hell knew? WHYBAML never mentioned this to me, which in the words of my first pro-WHYBAML post, could have been brought to my attention yesterday! How did he not think to mention this?!? I could have saved myself a lot of emotional output as well as money. Bastard.

Jenn said...

I'm sorry :(

Susie said...

I'm so sorry. Negatives suck.

Molly said...

Shit, Pru. And you still dragged your ass to work today? Damn. You're a stronger woman than I.

thalia said...

Shit Pru I'm sorry. I'm completely with you on the two disappointments - I do that all the time. Maybe Dr WHYBAML needs a new moniker?

T said...

I'm sorry and I agree completely that IUI's suck.

Julie said...

that sucks donkey dick - I'm sorry. You are totally right - IUI's suck big time (I had five of them).

PJ said...

Damnit! I'm sorry Pru.

Manuela said...

As everyone has been telling me for the last week... it ain't over until that crimson bitch shows up...

But it still does TOTALLY suck to see a negative....

Panda said...

OK, I'll be annoyingly chirpy and say that its taken until 18dpo to get a result for me in the past, so dont lose all hope just yet. Its a totally sucky time for you though, and I really really really hope the CB keeps her unwelcome self away for good.

Susan / holdingpattern said...

I am so sorry. hang in there.

Ova Girl said...

bloody buggery bollocks negatives. And their sucky IUI friends.

Millie said...

This just sucks. I totally agree with you on iuis. Complete waste of time. Not sure if even 800 years will get me less better but stranger things have happened.

April said...

So incredibly sorry.

Anonymous said...

Negative tests suck. They blow. Big time. Sorry.

Emily

joie said...

I'm sorry! So, so sorry!! And yes, IUI's SUCK!!! I'll never get another. Four is my limit. Hey, when you crack open that vodka, pour me one, will ya?