I'm destined to be a mother, and a good one. Ok, so I don't like kids. Though this may seem like a slight stumbling block, I don't think it is. "So..." you say, "what makes you think you would be a good mum?" Simple. I have this innate maternal instinct that has manifested itself in a most unusual way -- I don't lust after good looking 20 year old guys anymore, I just want to mother them. As I work in a university I have constant contact with a plethora of 18-22 year old guys and yet I find that I'm not attracted to them, but I do have the urge to take care of them. I want to snuggle them to my breast and sing them lullabies. Yeah, so that last part might be a slight exaggeration.
Oddly enough, I had a singular moment of clarity on this matter. The university had a preview day with dozens of potential applicants invited, mostly male. I looked around the room and realised that I didn't find any of them hot, but cute in a "oh, isn't he an adorable kid" kind of way. May I just add at this point that these were 18 year old boys, so I'm keeping it legal. Am I getting way too old for my 26 years, or is this the empty womb talking? Combine this issue with my recent revelation that all *celebrity men I find attractive are 40+ and you've got one fucked up Freudian mess on your hands.
*For instance the delicious Carlos Bernard (Tony Almeida in 24), my beloved Gary Oldman, and the getting-vastly-better-looking-as-he-ages Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow could pillage me anytime) . I think one of the few exceptions to the age thing is the gorgeous, intense Joaquin Phoenix. Yum. I think I came in my pants when I heard he was going to play Johnny Cash. Ok, I'll stop now before I repulse anyone else.