3/13/2005

I'm getting my cooter poked, what of it?

Tomorrow will sound the IUI death knell (aka IUI #3: The Final Frontier), and I got to thinking about what other infertiles tell their employers when they have appointments with their own Good Lady Cooter Pokers/wandmonkeys/fine purveyors of assvice.

As I've mentioned previously, I go for ultrasounds three times a week while I am taking the injections. When it was realised that I would be doing this three times a week for a series of months, the distinction was made that doctors appointments must be taken as flexi time, and hospital appointments do not. Lucky for me, GLCP (now featuring Junior Wandmonkey) is based in a hospital, so I'm quids in. However, a problem is posed when I have to get my actual IUI.

The situation where I live is a bit complex--the hospital where I have the IUI is not the same one that does the sperm whirlegig thing to filter out The Dude's retarded, deformed and otherwise substandard boys. This entails a journey to Hospital A for a 9.30am appointment, wandering around the city for 2 hours while said boys are being dizzied until they are ready for pickup 2 hours later. At this point I stick the specimen in my rather magnificent and ample bosom while we put the pedal to the medal to get to Hospital B on the other side of the city. Once at Hospital B, I rush up a few flights of stairs, find GLCP & Junior, and hand over the Pink Prize of Possible Procreation. Legs are put akimbo, and hopefully life is created.

All this shit takes time. Because of all the waiting and farting about back and forth, I have to take half the day off. In the past I have just taken the whole day off, insisting that I was ill. This week I have decided to be a trouper and actually go in to work once it is all over. As I do not tell my boss why I have hospital appointments three times a week, I am suitably vague when the IUI is approaching. I say that I have a "procedure" which will take some time, and thus far that has been sufficient. Does any of you have to offer up an explanation as to what it is exactly that you're having done?

I would be fine if my boss requested an official letter from the hospital just to verify that I'm not skipping out on work, but I would draw the line if they asked what I was going for. I don't feel that's any of their business. If I don't share any of this with my friends, why would I inform my boss? I know I must seem so petulant, but as I've said in the past infertility is an intensely private issue and I would resent being forced to share it with a person that doesn't deserve to know about it.

Right...I've got to go shave my legs for tomorrow. Wish me luck. Wish me luck on the IUI that is, not the leg-shaving thing, though I would accept good wishes for that too.

7 comments:

Suz said...

I love the word "pro-CE-dure" and have relied on it often. When I had the LAP, I had a medical procedure and my boss knows that I have another one scheduled for March 23 & 25 (retrieval & transfer). I give him major props for never asking about these issues because, as you said, it's none of his business.

deborah said...

And I love the word "petulant." I picture you stamping your little foot in a huff while telling your boss to fucking mind his own business.

deborah said...

And I love the word "petulant." I picture you stamping your little foot in a huff while telling your boss to fucking mind his own business.

deborah said...

And I love the word "petulant." I picture you stamping your little foot in a huff while telling your boss to fucking mind his own business.

Molly said...

It's done now, but GOOD LUCK in the metaphysical sense whereby my wishing you good luck now can be transferred into the realm of the timeless and apply to this morning's procedure. Meh.

MsPrufrock said...

Wow, Deborah's keen isn't she? Haha...I am petulant. Is there something wrong with stamping your foot while crossing your arms and sticking your lower lip out??

DeadBug said...

No advice here, being unemployed and able to travel to the GMCP (Good MISTER...) on a moment's notice. But I have considered it at some length in case I do end up getting a job soon and need some explanation. I've also decided upon simply saying it's a medical procedure, perhaps with a little--nothing TOO serious, don't worry--smile. They can't ask, and, unless I happen upon an infertile and very cool boss, I won't tell.

--Bugs