Pimpin' ain't easy

Sometimes when I read a blog I wonder why the writer isn't in one of those big blogging cliques - you know the circles I'm talking about without the need for me to name drop. Some bloggers make me wonder why their popularity is warranted, whereas others make me want to fall over and die from my own ineptitude due to their wit, cleverness, and all around fabulousness.

Sweet baby jesus do I read a lot of blogs. I keep adding and adding, with nary a subtraction. This means that it takes me weeks and weeks to catch up sometimes, but I can't imagine narrowing my reading down to less than 100 blogs. I just can't help it - I am a nosy bitch.

There are some blogs that you need to be reading. This isn't me pretending to be a great saviour of stats. A recommendation from me is hardly parallel to one of those noted bloggers above raving about a blogger's brilliance. I was way more popular when I was barren, so sorry folks - an extra five people may stop by, but that's about all I can offer you.

I should also note that if you are not on my Pimpin' List in this post, it doesn't mean I don't love you. I seem to be unable to find time to floss my teeth every day, so I am certainly not cluttering up my feeder with detritus I can't be asked to read. The simple fact is, pimpin' just ain't easy. I do have a blogroll on the sidebar there, but a) I don't update it nearly enough and b) blogrolls are apparently passe, gone the way of the fauxhawk or polyester

Without further ado, Pru's list of Read this Fucking Brilliant Blog Already:

The Hairy Farmer Family: I only "discovered" (in the Columbus way) through Mel's commentathon thingie, and thank the lord I did because this woman is fantastic. Funny, and oh-so-British in her writing style. That's a compliment. Picture a man with a pipe, muttonchops, and a houndstooth jacket with suede elbow patches saying, "I dare say old chap", and you have Mrs Hairy Farmer's blog. But feminine. And with a baby. A cute baby. Oh, and a hot husband. Go for the blog, stay for the hot piece of ass, that's what I always say.

Awful but Functioning: Tash is an amazing writer, and her posts are way to few and far between. I found, again, in the most Columbusian way, Tash quite recently though I don't recall how. She made the mistake of talking about renovating her old house, which drove me to email her straight away begging for pictures because that's how I get off. Anyway, prepare to be moved, usually to tears, but it's totally worth it. Oh, and she has great taste in music. That is to say, very similar to mine.

Eliza's Mom: I'm a year off having a three year old, but this blog actually makes me look forward to it. If you're not entertained by the various Elizaisms that feature here, there is a black, gaping chasm where your heart should be, you soulless bastards. I'll tempt you with a line, "I started to brush my teeth while she was using the potty and then her face melted off from the bitter acid tears she cried over my betrayal." Awesome.

Messing with Texas: I'll say it. Fucking hilarious. I've been avoiding the use of "fuck" in connection with the other blogs since I don't want to come off as uncouth, but it's appropriate here. I love this blog and may want to marry its author Tessie. No doubt she would find this beyond disturbing, and by hitting publish I'm outing myself as a complete freak and weirdo stalker. Well done to me. A creepy factor of at least 9 I think.

Miz S: Again, no recollection as to how I stumbled upon this blog. I just know that Miz S is beyond cool. Read this post and tell me you disagree. I dare you. If you don't find it funny, I'll buy you the Starbucks drink of your choice next time you're in the south of England. Oh, no one is ever going to be in the south of England? Oh well. Shame.

Nuts in May: May, oh my darling, darling May. I adore this woman, and I have put forth to Mrs Hairy Farmer that the three of us will leave our husbands and move in together. They will be all staid and English, and I'll be all brash and American, telling the British people they drive on the wrong side of the road and what not. Maybe the three of us will start up a blog when we move in entitled, "Multiculturally Co-habitating Platonically and LOVING It!"

Racheldirollzack.com: It is what it says on the tin - Rachel Diroll Zack's blog. Who is Rachel? She lives in New Jersey, has a kid the same age as P named Jillian, and she loves James almost as much as I do. She has a foul mouth too, so, uh, duh, LOVE.

Sarah and Jordan Updates: Eva's twins are quite possibly the most adorable kids ever, and P could watch their videos all day, every day. Not only are they cute, they are impossibly smart, though it's really, what, with the whole genetics thing. I should also add that Eva is always here to comment in the good times and when I'm being a melodramatic whiner, so she deserves a mention for that alone.

Musings of a Defiant Mother: Defiant Muse may be taking a blogging break, but stop by and page through her wonderful photos (and actual posts of course). Her blog is unlike any other that I read, so I'm still frantically hoping she'll update soon.

I left out a lot of my favourite blogs, so this list is, of course, not exhaustive. I'm turning the pimp stick over to you - what blogger(s) do you want to tell everyone about? As I alluded to at the beginning of this post, I don't want to hear about bloggers with hundreds of readers. I find all the really popular blogs a bit too incestuous to want to read any more than I already do. I always feel like I'm missing some great writing, so here is the stick, treat it well.


Sizzle said...

I can't even click on any of those because if I add one more blog to my reader it will implode. I can't keep up! But it's super nice of you to pimp people.

Aunt Becky said...

Love this idea, dude. Hmmm...I will brainstorm and be back. Why the comment if I had nothing good to say? I accidentally marked this as "read" and I'm not smart enough to pop back.

Stupid memory of mine.

calliope said...

I am like sizzle (& HOW many times have I typed THAT in my life...heh)- my bloglines is about to explode. But I dig that you are big pimpin'. It's so how you roll. oddly enough I always seem to be sending people to your site & aunt becky's site...I think it is because I go all soft for profanity. (oh. wait. I mean I go all hard. wait. um...what do I mean?!)

Rachel said...

SQUEE! I feel so loved! Of course, now the pressure is on to cuss my way to greatness. Hm.

I read mikeadamick.com (Mike lives in San Francisco and has a very cute Emme-person as his sidekick), expatswede.wordpress.com (Minna, who is currently living in Italy with her sweet bebe people), and my new favorite: cakewrecks.blogspot.com (which isn't parenting-related but is the funniest damn thing I have ever seen).

Oh, and various Sweet Valley High blogs, which is a dirty shameful secret of mine.

Helen said...

Oh yeah - I am a cake wreck bitch, too. I love that site and often laugh so hard snot because a projectile.

I'm that cool.

Not cool enough to make your list, apparently, but cool enough for snot.

Christine said...

Your pimp cane is cracking me up. Dude. That is beyond awesome.

I'll be back. It seems have some new blogs to check out (including yours!)

Major Bedhead said...

I'm gonna be all smug and superior here because I KNOW Eliza's Mom. She lives down the road from me. And she's just as funny in person. And Eliza? Hysterical.

I just thought I'd brag a little. :D

Anonymous said...

Have you been here:

It is not a parenting blog, but there is something so intellectual and honest about her posts.

Anonymous said...

Oh! Oh! Oh! I wondered why the old stats had gone up this evening!
I am beyond honoured. The Pimp Stick is quite, quite superb. And quite suggestive to boot. Hubby may have to grease me up in order to fit my head through the office door. He'll like that.

I have scrutinised your blogroll intently, and can find very little to add. Reason being: I'm pretty new to this luvverly blogging business, and have been splashing about like a happy puppy in your and May's blogrolls for months already, sniffing out the good stuff!

I can't see the fabulous Geohde though: a delightful Aussie doctor with very newborn twins; an exceedingly nice girlie. She kills me. Totally worth going to visit. http://missionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com

My worshipful thanks again for your good opinion. Have just made some jam over here. Let me know if you fancy a scone? You could pick May up en-route?

elizasmom said...

Oooh, thank you! I'm so flattered! I already read (and love) Awful But Functioning, but the others are new to me. As soon as I finish painting my kitchen tonight, I'll have to go a-browsing.
As a sidenote, I'm kind of sad that the blogroll is going out of style. When I was starting out, that's how I found so many blogs. — I started with the Big Bloggers and worked my way down, and found, like you did, that popularity (or lack thereof) is no indicator of quality.
As for my own recommendations, I have stubbornly hung onto my blogroll — that's who I like (including Major Bedhead http://www.thebookishone.blogspot.com/ — thanks for the shout-out!).
I guess I'd especially plug Snooty Primadonna (http://snootyprimadona.blogspot.com/ and not just because she gave me an award once) because the stories she tells about her life are pretty dang riveting. She refers to her mother as The Brown Recluse, and it gets more colorful from there.
Also love Don't Call It Poetry http://dontcallitpoetry.wordpress.com/ who is a poet and writer and real life friend, whom I introduced to blogging, to the benefit of the blogosphere, I would say.

Jenn said...

Let's see, excluding infertility or former infertility blogs, some of my current faves are the underwear drawer, DIY Diva, and Project Rungay.

Tash said...

Wait, WHAT? I'z been pimped?! /blush

You're too kind. And sweet jesus if school doesn't start again soon, I may not post again ever. Or I'll have to start a boring Reno blog, and I think there are more of those than mommy blogs, and that's saying something.

where was I? Do you do I'm a Smart One? Kymberli's that great combo of IF, mom, surrogate, and fucking funny plus a great writer to pull it altogether.

Pressure's on, guess I need to go post.

Eva said...

Aw shucks. You are too kind. Luckily those videos entertain my own children. They are clearly bloggers-to-be with their egocentric, I love watching myself ways.

I must confess I mostly read twin blogs (don't you feel honored?) so some favorites include:

Her photography! I just want to beat myself every time I see her photos of her children and how crappy my photos look in comparison.

A 4 year old. Twin 2 year olds. Twin newborns. On the hard days I remind myself, it could be harder. And she's so honest about all she goes through, in ways I don't feel comfortable being.

Again, so honest about the everyday things of parenting. And she always makes me laugh.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am finished using one of those baby squeezy things to suction out my nose after a three hour cry. Not because I can't blow my nose at 34, but because I thought it sounded more dramatic after not making the list.


Oh, and not getting to see you during your US visit. I'm still crying over that.

I have too many that send me into gushasms (like orgasms, but from the mouth). But Life From Here, Weebles Wobblog, Three Under Two, Road Less Travelled, Lemmondrops, The Sweet Life, Cheese and Whine, Liza Was Here, I am going to stop now because I am getting to the point where I am going to come from the excitement.

So many emotions all in one comment.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I love this! I often wonder why some people get so popular and other fantastic bloggers go unnoticed.

OvaGirl said...

I love this post and these blogs you've put out there but most of all I LOVE THAT PIMPING STCK.

Defiantmuse said...

aw shucks.
thanks, girl.

Anonymous said...

That's it, I am TOTALLY kissing you on the nose. Hold still. I don't care if you have touching issues.

And when we all live together, I will make us all chocolate mousse and lasagne. And a hand-knitted pimping-stick cover.

ms.bri said...

Does it make me a bad person that before I read the whole of your recommendations, before I clicked on anything, I scrolled through your post and all the comments to see if anyone would name me? Just a pathetic person, then? Yeah, I thought so.

Anonymous said...

late to the party, but iamgettingfat.blogspot.com is the only blog that I've read the archives of in its entirety. It is wet your pants funny.