10/25/2005

Wait...what does IVF stand for again?

Ladies, I need help. As I often say, I'm not one to google treatment protocols or read books on infertility. I don't know my FSH from my elbow, and I certainly have no idea where to even start when it comes to LH, E2, betas and blastocysts.

"Ah!" you say, "Your ignorance has caught up with you! Not so casual as to vaunt your cluelessness now, are you?" To that, I say piss off. Ok, you're allowed to be smug now that I'm asking for your help, but I want no taunting. Taunt not. Random aside: in looking for a synonym of "ignorance", my online thesaurus has suggested "creeping meatballism". I ask you, what in the fu--...uh, fresh hell is creeping meatballism? It sounds like some sort of latent form of elephantitus, but rather than looking like John Merrick you look like a lumpy meatball conglomeration.

Anyway, creeping meatballism aside, I have no idea what sort of IVF arrangement WHYBAML has constructed for me. I'm a bit concerned that there is no Buserelin involved, despite the fact that I have no.fucking.clue what that even is. People use it, I know that. Thalia uses it, Mare used it. However, it is not on my lovely List 'O' Drugs as supplied by WHYBAML. Is this cause for concern, or shall I keep on with the blind trust of WHYBAML?

I am, according to my handy "IVF/ICSI treatment start" bible doing a short protocol. Oh. Good to know. I will be starting Norethisterone on Wednesday. We are to assume that my period will start soon after. Letrozole (Femara in Yank Speak) will commence on day 2 and carry on until day 6. The rest of my meds are as follows: Puregon (Follistim in YS), Cetrorelix, Ovitrelle (is this like Gonal-F? Colour me confused), and...PUSSARIES! Obviously we are not sure about dosages at this point, but I know my ovaries are going to be stimulated like they've never been stimulated before! Hey now.

Have I mentioned how much I am looking forward to using my Puregon Pen again? Bring it on. I love that thing. I wish there were things you could inject into your body just for the hell of it because ladies, that pen would be busy around the clock. I'm not the only one, lest you think I'm some sort of needle-happy freak; check these people out. Puregon makes them happy! They looooooooooooooove infertility. Look at those smiles.

While I'm asking questions of the learned folk, what say you on the topic of small-headed sperm? I'm sure it's no laughing matter, but really...that shit is funny, right? The Dude was crestfallen that WHYBAML told him in our last meeting that some of his sperm had small heads, and I can't stop thinking of the hilarity. I asked him tonight whether I was allowed to spread the small-headed sperm word, and he said, "Yeah, but only to bloggers!" Damn, and here I was going to go to work tomorrow and blurt out, "My husband has small-headed sperm!" in an otherwise quiet office. Pity. I do a mean 'simple' sperm impression that involves a dopey expression and a simulation of bumping into the uterine wall while saying, "Duuurrrrr", but I can't do a small-headed sperm impression yet. Yes, I'm such a sympathetic wife.

I welcome any advice you have. Just don't say "I told you so" or I will kick you in the ovaries.

NB: Quick housekeeping issue--does anyone else have difficulty viewing my posts? I don't mean that you're offended or repulsed, but rather the font is difficult to read/decipher, etc? Someone informed me that they had trouble reading it and I hope it's not a common problem.

24 comments:

Dooneybug said...

I haven't had any trouble viewing the posts.

Sorry but I'm IVF illiterate myself. No clue, but go PUSSARIES and Puregon Pen!! Whoo-hooo! :)

Lucky said...

De-lurking (don't you love that word) to say that the font is quite easy to read. Kinda like it.

Whilst I'm here, love your writing. Good luck with your upcoming cycle.

kiwi said...

No problems reading here either.

I haven't done IVF, but I took most of these meds during injectible cycles. And I too, loved my Puregon pen! And if you meant Ovidrel, it is not like Gonal-f, it is hcg...

Mary Scarlet said...

I wish I could help you but I'm kind of a noooby myself. I've just been on Lupron and Gonal-F (which also has a nice stabby pen). As for the thesaural challenges: smart meatballs bounce, ignorant meatballs creep. Makes sense to me. What's the problem?

It's Very Fun? Inkspots Veer Frequently? Good luck. Posts look fine.

Susie said...

I am IVF-challenged. But I don't have any problems reading your posts!

Good luck on your cycle, I am cheering you on! Yay for the Puregon Pen!

thalia said...

It's ok sweetie, I'm here for you. At least I know what some of that stuff is. And I have to return the favour of making me laugh out loud with your simple sperm impression. My driver doesn't know what to think.

It's not a 'normal' protocol, so I imagine it's beautifully tailored protocol made just for you by WHYMAML.

Noresthisterone is another form of the drug depo-provera, so it's like taking a dose of the pill - it's your suppression drug. Letrozole is, as I think you know, similar to clomid - it recruits extra follicles at the beginning of the cycle to get them ready for maturation. Puregon is the FSH that will mature them

Cetrorelix is the more complex one. It's a GnRH antagonist so it stops the eggs from being released early. The equivalent drug in our cycles is Buserelin, or Lupron, but these work slightly differently as they are GnRH agonists - although the outcome is the same. GnRH antagonists (like yours) stop the pituitary gland from making LH in a matter of hours, whereas the GnRH agonists (like ours) take a week or so - they make it overproduce, then it shuts down. That's why you can take your drug later and for a shorter period of time than we have to.

Ovitrelle is the HCG trigger shot.

This looks like a poor responder protocol, because you're suppressing for less time and using the letrozole to recruit extra follicles (a new protocol, several have written about it, in one study comparing poor responder protocols I saw it showed the same pregnancy rate as a standard protocol but with v high doses of gonadotrophins (FSH)). I guess WHYBAML is responding to your two follicles last time?

Hope that helps. Let me know if you want more.

T said...

To add to Thalia's wealth - it's akin to an antagon cycle here (without the letrozole) - the cetrorelix (cetrotide) is the antagonist to prevent surge/ovulation. You'll probably stim for a few days, they'll monitor you and either when your LH starts to rise or a previously prescribed day (my last clinic was day 6 or 7 no matter what) you'll add that to your daily injections. The agonist suppresses so that you flare, the antagonist let's you start without suppression.

Isn't this fun?

Molly said...

Umm, for the first time in my life, I actually have nothing to say.

Except to mention -- there is something you can inject into your body "just for the hell of it" -- it's called HEROIN.

mm said...

Yes, what Thalia and t said... I can see your posts just fine.

Lindy said...

I'm glad Thalia did all the typing. I have a handy list of every imaginable drug for IVF that explains what they are and what they're used for and ditto what Thalia said.

Sounds like you've got a very special protocol there...

cat said...

Oh a special protocol just for you! Good luck will be rooting for you.

Your posts are quite readable both in font and style.

Holly said...

Look!! Even the doctor likes stabbing herself with injection pens. She's smiling too. I can't wait to stab myself.

Molly said...

Oh, and BTW -- my aunt and uncle, who have a Mac, have trouble reading the font on my nice little clean love and sunshine for-the-family blogspot blog. I checked it out from their computer, and it is barely legible. Not sure what can be done about that.

April said...

Sorry, I'm too busy snarking over the creeping meatballism that I have absolutely nothing productive or even slightly helpful to say.

Nico said...

Yeah, what they said! I just wanted to let you know that i'm here rooting for you. Starting Wednesday = tomorrow? Go follicles!

Manuela said...

Um... I'm still stewing about the fact that I'm still WAITING to start my protocol! WTF? We had made the decision to go IVF a few weeks before you did... so I don't get all this stuff either... From the time we decided to do IVF once and for all... I had to go through a battery of more bloodwork, and WAIT for the results. That took a couple weeks. Then I had to wait for the NEXT cycle to start, and then not until day 21 of that cycle... which is Hallowe'en in irony of ironies... do I start my synarel. FUCK! WAAAH.... I want my happy-smiley inducing pen! WAAAH!!!

I feel like I'm back in grade 1 and I'm crying because my friend got the Miss America barbie doll and I didn't! And I'm CANADIAN! I'm such a weirdo.

I dunno... I'm so not excited about this cycle that I've just turned into the dream patient... Yes, Dr. Gidget ... whatever you say Dr. Gidget.

BAH.

Wavery said...

I'm glad I'm in good company. Perhaps rocking and screaming Vivelle not Bravelle! No, I don't think you heard me, V as in Victory not B as in Bravo! NO V, like Viva la Revalucion! V! LIKE VD! LIKE FUCK YOU! does exempt me from good company consideration, but I'll fake it if you will.

elle said...

I can see you and all your colorful word choices just fine, thank you.

I have no IVF pearls of wisdom to share. Just hoping you & your pens find success this cycle!

Anonymous said...

I can see your posts...if I couldn't, I'd be stalking you as I went through withdrawal ;)

Emily

Julie said...

Creeping meatballism and simple sperm... ROFLMAO. I keep picturing Homer Simpson heads with little tadpole tails. mmmmmm...donuts

Alexa said...

Thalia, will you marry me?

Pru, I wish that I could be more helpful, but Thalia seems to have covered everything. I am, of course, taking a special interest in your protocol, because if I ever do IVF, I will simply tell Dr. Doctor to do the same thing they did with my Innard Twin.

And Holly--I thought the doctor in the picture, rather than enjoying stabbing herself with injection pens, enjoys causing her patients to do so. I found her a little creepy.

tania said...

Hell - if I were you I'd just dump WHYBAML and go with Thalia. I always felt like I was a pretty informed infertile, but by the time I got to IVF, I just kind of said fuck it and knew the bare minimum.

After I found out I was injecting post-menopaual woman urine into my body, I just decided I didn't need to know a hell of a lot else other than what to do and when to do it.

Good luck!

B. Mare said...

No. Thalia is marrying ME, goddamn it.

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