10/02/2005

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ...

Ah, ignorance does make me chuckle. As a complete gossip whore, I spend most of my late afternoons browsing various websites which enable me to see what length of recycled potato sack Kirsten Dunst is wearing today (does anyone else think she looks like she would smell like a musty attic?), or latest J-Lo, "Pregnant, or just 'fat'?" rumours.

The other day there was a thread on one of the websites concerning whether or not Alicia Silverstone is all knocked up and what not. I saw the picture, girl looks like she's packing a baby gut, so it's possible. The comments in connection with this story were laughable as well as being annoying at the same time. The basic gist was - well, Alicia Silverstone HAS been married for four months now, so why WOULDN'T she be pregnant? Duh. I'm surprised she even waited that long. Everyone who is anyone gets pregnant right after exchanging vows. Also, do non-married people not get pregnant now? Is that passe?

It is people like Alicia that sell out infertiles. Not pregnant within 6 months post-marriage? Infertile. You're outed against your will thanks to comparative measures. Given that this is the widely-held perception, I'm shocked that people still ask me when we're having kids. If I haven't had them after being married for nearly 4 years, what is the point in asking me when we are having them? There are a few possible scenarios here - a) We are not the kid-having type b) We're infertile c) We are focusing on such petty things like career and education d) None of your goddamn fucking business.

I have probably mentioned this in previous posts, but I have been hassled about my lack of children numerous times in the past few years, with advanced maternal age generally being the gem these people like to throw at me. I only turned 27 two months ago, but yet I am bordering on being the pensioner that miraculously conceives via IVF much to the consternation of most of society. A former co-worker once said to my then-24 year old self: "What is the hold up? You're not getting any younger." Eh? I still see this woman regularly and she still harps on about my lack of children. How do people not yet realise how incredibly rude this line of questioning is?

Well Queen Fuckwad, I have this wee little condition called PCOS which makes it very difficult to conceive. Unfortunately for me none of the drugs meant to assist in conception are working very well, which means I am still infertile, and still have to put up with these inane questions from inconsiderate Smug Fertile assholes. You're old -- have you still not learned tact in the many, many years you have spent on this earth?

Phew...I'm glad I got that off my heaving bosom. In other news, Gwyneth may be pregnant again. Sister, you're on my Lesbian List, do you really have to lap me twice? Show some consideration for a poor downtrodden infertile, will you? Meh.

13 comments:

thalia said...

Oh I hate those drive-bys. At work one of my colleagues actually said to me, a few months after we were married;: "yeah there's a sweepstake on how long it's going to take you to get pregnant given how old you were when you got married." That's nice, isn't it? Supportive environment, that's what I like at work.


And I'm sorry to diss you, but why is GP on your lesbian list? She's sooo insipid!

Jenn said...

I saw in the grocery store today big headlines ANGELINA LOOKS PREGNANT!

I'm so glad no one follows me around with a camera trying to figure out if I'm pregnant by the size of my gut.

Lindy said...

Argh! I was just at the grocery store and saw both the Angelina looks pregnant and the Gwenyth's pregnant headlines. I was going to post that we'd all been officially lapped, but you beat me to it.

I'm completely obsessed with pregnant celebreties. I don't actually buy the magazines, but I'm secretly pleased when the line at the check out is long enough for me to read them. Then I go home and google it all.

zhl said...

So glad it's not just me. I actually have some of those sites categorized as vices on my favorites list. It's almost like I'm a masochist willing to stick myself with needles. Oh, wait.

Molly said...

I remember a few months ago reading on celebrity-babies.com a story with the title, "IS J-LO FINALLY PREGNANTS?"

The story was full of statements like, "After a year of marriage, it seems the diva is finally expecting!" This after they posted an article back in January that J-Lo had built a shrine and was praying daily because she's so "desperate for a baby." Oh, boo hoo.

Finally. Yeah. I wish I could finally NEVER HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT HER AGAIN.

amyesq said...

Oh for God'd sake. There is going to be an Apple, Pear, Kiwi and Mango before we even have one.

I think I'm going to barf. And most definitely NOT from morning sickness.

cat said...

When people ask you stupid shit like that you should feel free to ask them equally stupid and insulting questions.

"Why do you have children you certainly don't seem like the parenting type?"

Fight fire with fire.

T said...

I used to go on the offensive when people used to ask us about children "I have two cats and a husband, what do I need kids for" - that worked for many a year, then someone said "why don't you have kids, they'd be so cute!" to which I have to say "suck my dick", which actually came out as "how do you know we haven't tried?". Made her shut up - kind of outed me a little, but hey...

Alexa said...

I have had 2 people at work this past week ask me when I am going to have kids. It takes a supreme effort of will not to chirp "As soon as I can get an embryo to stick around for more than 8 weeks!"

Manuela said...

I know you prefer to keep your privacy about this very personal topic... but whenever that happens to me... I get very very serious and cast my eyes downward as I spin some yarn about the tragic accident that left me barren... and then I walk away stifling a sob...

Ok... so I only ever did that once... but DAMN the look of horror on the dipshit fertile fucker's face was soooo WORTH IT!

Ova Girl said...

Very tired of questions like why don't you have kids... have run out of words, mostly just give an insipid wan smile unless I'm feeling energetic in which case I start going to town about being infertile and the IVF and the male factor and HSG and the dildocams and the...the...wait...don't you want to hear more?...the sonyhystogram was fun let me describe in detail....

Pamplemousse said...

I just start sobbing. That usually shuts the fuckers up pretty damn quick.

Kim said...

On my wedding day I was 21 and I was asked at least 20 times when I was planning on having kids. On my freaking wedding day.