5/23/2008

Jezebel in Nappies

P is a spirited little girl, and apparently a big ol' slut. It seems word has gotten around the nursery that my daughter is on the prowl for any hunk of toddler man meat. Short toddlers, tall toddlers, chubby toddlers, one-eyed toddlers, toddlers with Proteus syndrome, whatever. To be frank, she is a BIG WHORE.

When I dropped P off the other day, she ran straight to her friend Jack, who was having his breakfast of toast. I was relieved that her preoccupation meant that I could escape unnoticed, and clearly I did not realise that she was making a play for this poor, helpless, doe-eyed cherub. She only said, "Hello Jack!", granted, 8 or 9 times in a row, but this behaviour was seen as tantamount to drunkenly groping a male co-worker's junk when drunk at the office Christmas party. The manager of the nursery said, "Oh, she's flirting with one of her many boyfriends again! She's always flirting with the boys!" What a ho! She does sometimes take Jack's toast in exchange for intellectual discourse and deep philosophical musings - should I be concerned?



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On an unrelated to toddler whoredom note, Mel has organised a big, month-long mutual comment masturbationathon that I have signed up for, along with about 17.4 million others. I took to heart what some of you said a couple of months ago - I want comments or else I die from being unloved, yet I'm not very good at commenting myself. I've been trying to change this, but by having my name firmly on this list of participants I'm strong-arming my way into this and I will do it!

Bear in mind it's not only for the infertile/ex-infertile amongst us. We all need to branch out eventually and leave our cosy little internet uterus, because who knows what we may find? I need another load of feeds to add to my Bloglines like I need another set of string-of-pearl cysts on my ovaries, but conversely I'm a blog reading addict. Who needs to do a job anyway?

14 comments:

The Town Criers said...

I would be very afraid to let her near the Wolvog. Especially with the pink boots.

electriclady said...

Don't you know, females and males are not allowed to fraternize unless it's sexual in nature? So clearly if she spoke to any boy she wants to MARRY HIM.

DD said...

Oh, you think it's funny now, her trading some cute smiles for graham crackers, but just you won't until you hear some story about Little Tommy's new spiderman underwear.

And I'm really surprised to hear you're a comment whore? Really? Who'da thunk?

Eva said...

I really abhor when people describe babies or toddlers as flirting. They are being friendly. Or maybe coy. But flirting? My son gets accused of this all the time because he's very smiley and goofy.

She is adorable, though!

Tash said...

I'm afraid. I'm afraid I might just eat her up instead of that toast, she's so cute.

Magpie said...

I'd be pissed off that the daycare person was referring to it as "flirting". They're BABIES.

Vacant Uterus said...

LOL! The captioning on that picture is priceless. Work it, P. A woman has to make her way in this world somehow...

nutsinmay said...

Flirting? Hm. I wonder what they'd've made of my sister Diva's toddler habit of launching herself at grown men and head-butting them at groin-height.

Heh heh heh. Good photo. Adorable AND snarky.

Look, I'm commenting. Happy?

Defiantmuse said...

duuude. Monkey is the same way! My partner said she takes after her mama. Um. Hmmm.....

Io said...

I am pretty sure my job exists mostly so I have somewhere to read blogs where my husband isn't around to say "are you *still* blogging?!"

Kristi said...

What a hussy. But maybe she was just hungry?
Adorable picture of little P, by the way.

Laura said...

NaComLeavMo

I am a comment whore too but suck at leaving comments. Yesterday and today I rock though :)

PiquantMolly said...

I'll be sure to never let her meet Brad.

momofonefornow said...

hi from NaComLejfkjhMifjoidj...

I always say that a girls got to do what a girls got to do. If we needs toast, we can work it to gets us some toast! :0)

She is super cute and the comment on the photo is priceless.