Don't you think that 10.15am on a Friday is a fine time to be told you're unemployable? Yes, it has been confirmed - for the first time in my short(ish) working life, I've not gotten a job I've interviewed for. Clearly the University of Where Tricky is From are xenophobic, anti-American bastards. Obviously. It couldn't possibly be that I have failed to represent myself and my current job responsibilities clearly and succintly. The kicker is - I tried to focus the presentation and interview toward the marketing aspects of my current position, as they were all about recruitment, recruitment, recruitment, and they told me in the feedback portion of the "I'm sorry, your suckitude was far too great to offer you the job" phone call that I didn't delve into the actual part of my job which forms my title. Suitably vague so as not to give away what I do, plus a horrendous run-on sentence for good measure.
I could have rambled for ages about that aspect of my position, it's what I DO after all. Silly, silly me overthought it all and believed that by catering it to suit what I thought they wanted I would be successful. To push the dagger into my heart just that little bit more, I was told that had I focused more on this main aspect of my job, I almost certainly would have been offered the position. Ouch.
So here I sit, 6 more hours left to the working day when I just want to lay on my bed and cry like the teenager I am emotionally. Instead, I have to carry on with this work-based monotony, pretending that I didn't actually want this new position anyway. I am that obnoxious breed of person who thinks they are impervious to rejection - who would not give me a job, I'm perfect! I am effortlessly charming motherfuckers! How could they not be swayed by this? I make excellent first impressions, everyone loves me goddammit.
Now the fear sets in that I will never be able to progress, and will be stuck at this level for the rest of my life. The Dude just reminded me that I was shortlisted from 120 applicants for a position in a top ten university, which is just him recycling the shit I feed him when he is in a similar predicament. I don't care what he says to try and make this a better situation, it is different being on the other side of statistics.
I told myself that I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't get it, after all, I only applied on a whim. However, reality tells a different story, and I don't know how anyone deals well with being told they are not good enough. I'll be here, in this soul-sucking, progression-free job with my evil, cuntish "manager" another day. Fuck.