Hi square one, nice to meet you

Don't you think that 10.15am on a Friday is a fine time to be told you're unemployable? Yes, it has been confirmed - for the first time in my short(ish) working life, I've not gotten a job I've interviewed for. Clearly the University of Where Tricky is From are xenophobic, anti-American bastards. Obviously. It couldn't possibly be that I have failed to represent myself and my current job responsibilities clearly and succintly. The kicker is - I tried to focus the presentation and interview toward the marketing aspects of my current position, as they were all about recruitment, recruitment, recruitment, and they told me in the feedback portion of the "I'm sorry, your suckitude was far too great to offer you the job" phone call that I didn't delve into the actual part of my job which forms my title. Suitably vague so as not to give away what I do, plus a horrendous run-on sentence for good measure.

I could have rambled for ages about that aspect of my position, it's what I DO after all. Silly, silly me overthought it all and believed that by catering it to suit what I thought they wanted I would be successful. To push the dagger into my heart just that little bit more, I was told that had I focused more on this main aspect of my job, I almost certainly would have been offered the position. Ouch.

So here I sit, 6 more hours left to the working day when I just want to lay on my bed and cry like the teenager I am emotionally. Instead, I have to carry on with this work-based monotony, pretending that I didn't actually want this new position anyway. I am that obnoxious breed of person who thinks they are impervious to rejection - who would not give me a job, I'm perfect! I am effortlessly charming motherfuckers! How could they not be swayed by this? I make excellent first impressions, everyone loves me goddammit.

Now the fear sets in that I will never be able to progress, and will be stuck at this level for the rest of my life. The Dude just reminded me that I was shortlisted from 120 applicants for a position in a top ten university, which is just him recycling the shit I feed him when he is in a similar predicament. I don't care what he says to try and make this a better situation, it is different being on the other side of statistics.

I told myself that I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't get it, after all, I only applied on a whim. However, reality tells a different story, and I don't know how anyone deals well with being told they are not good enough. I'll be here, in this soul-sucking, progression-free job with my evil, cuntish "manager" another day. Fuck.


Eva said...

So sorry it didn't work out the way you want. You DO know though, that's it's just one job and not a reflection of you or your abilities.

And it could be worse. Someone sued our university (I was somehow part of the lawsuit) because she applied for 39 jobs and got none. .So you have a lot of work to do to reach true suckitude.

korechronicles said...

We all like to think we can take honest feedback but if my inner perfectionist is any guide, it just takes one negative comment to send us on a journey down "How Sucky Am I Lane"

I've now left HR and recruitment far behind but I was always uncomfortable with the way interviewing and hiring was done. Multiply that by the peculiar environment of Academia and you have a poisoned cauldron of crap to swim through.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that lots of great potential employees don't necessarily interview well. And why weren't the interviewers asking you about the job you do if that was so bloody important?

And I also think (not that you asked and it's highly impertinent of me, considering I'm a NCML visitor*) that it is totally NOT feedback and really insulting to say "We'd have given it to you if you had just done such-and-such". They think you'd make a good employee but you didn't GUESS what they wanted to see at interview? That's just a mindfuck.

* You're probably regretting your post on the lack of NCLM visitors right about now!

nutsinmay said...

Ooh. Ow. Wincing for you. Ow ow ow.

It could be that they had a 'preferred candidate' and had to think of any excuse at all to not look like they weren't going for you simply because you weren't the 'preferred candidate'. That happens a lot in the Groves of Academe. I should know, I benefited from it (please don't hate me).

I had a job interview like that once. I burbled on and on about all the things I'd done that would make me suit their blasted job, and afterwards they icily told me I hadn't explained how I suited my CURRENT blasted job. Gobsmacked.

Anyway, damn, that sucks. Here's hoping some fragments of your soul cling on and that Cuntish Manager suddenly decides to run away to Belarus with a cossack.

Rachel said...

Aw, poor Pru. I'll hire you, but I can't pay you much. Or anything at all, really.

In the past 20 years, I have held no fewer than 73 different jobs. Sometimes 3 at a time, sure - but usually jobs of very short duration. Plus, I have been fired from or "asked to leave" at least 15 of those jobs, so I am very good at handling that sort of rejection. It's easy - you just have to believe that you're better than them! You can do it!

That's why I'm a SAHM. I can't get fired from this job. I can't quit either, but oh well.

electriclady said...

Here's what I don't get about your situation and also nutsinmay's--if they wanted to hear about specific aspects of your current position, why didn't they ASK YOU? Speaking as someone who has conducted many job interviews from the hiring side, that is what an interview is for--to ASK the person questions you want the answers for. So clearly it was the interviewer who sucked, not you.

Sorry you didn't get it, in any case. If it makes you feel better, I have been rejected from many, many jobs. And then went on to get my current job which was just right for me in ways those other jobs that rejected me could never have been.

Duck said...

It's always sucky when you don't get a job, I used to take it personally, but, I don't anymore, I've had many jobs, some with steep competition, and some i didn't get and I was competing again an incompetant oaf. It's nothing personal.

Brigindo said...

Yeesh that seems a particularly harsh rejection. Don't let the bastards get you down. You know your worth so they made a mistake. Job searches are hard but I feel they come down to fit and it sounds like this wasn't a good fit for you.

DD said...

Actually I think the problem was you didn't include the following statement on either your resume or cover letter:

"I am effortlessly charming motherfuckers! How could you not be swayed by this? I make excellent first impressions, everyone loves me goddammit."

Gawd. It's so OBVIOUS!

Quietgirl said...

Jobs are horrid little things, and they want us based on whether or not we're a good fit, plus all the personality quirks of the hirers and DO NOT take it personally.
You said you didn't want this job anyway. Like I didn't want to go to Princeton, I just wanted to be able to say I got in. Well fuck me cause Princeton didn't want me, and neither did Ontario.
Which leads me to my second point, which is that the British education system is simply better than the cowboy school we have. They might be dismissive of your unfortunate nationality. But like I said it's more living to learn from. What can you do different next time based on what happened this time. Practice will make you shine! And that was a practice one! Seriously, it's all about learning to play the game and manage their impressions, and confidence is a bitch but you gotta be kind of tough. And tough, I might add, is one thing us Yanks have. We like to kick some shit.
You can do it, and it is not a personal value judgment on you as a human being, despite (I know!) it feeling that way. But by the investment of going through the unpleasant bad interviews, by keeping your focus, you are going to be so tight by the time the btj you really want comes along, that you then will be able to get the job worth being in, and and not just working for cunt#2.
I'm all about encouragement. I can go on all day :)

Aunt Becky said...

Oh Pru, that fucking bites. I'm sorry.

Can I kick some ass for you?

Portia P said...

Here via Namcomleavemo

I'm sorry about the job. It's hard not to feel rejected when you don't get a job. I feel like that even if i'm not sure I wanted the job in the first place.

I always figure that if they were like this at interview stage they'd have been shitty to work for.

Something better will come along - a cliche but always true in my long experience! xx

Magpie said...

Ah crap. I should look for a new job, but I'd really rather take some time off.

I hope you get the next one. You should. You will.

Sizzle said...

That's a definite blow to the ego, I know that one. But it's just not the right job for you. A better one is out there!

hairyfarmerfamily said...

Oh arse! I'm so sorry it didn't happen for you.
I've always been obliged to ignore rejection completely because I'm too egotistic to accept that the rejecter might have a point. I can thoroughly recommend this approach, as it involves minimal soul-searching.
The next job will be sooo much better. Promise.

masha said...

Hi - thanks for leaving a comment on my blog - illustration, remember? As now I have found yours. NCLM is good for something after all! Although I have an awful lot of catching up to do.

Job interviews do suck, from both sides (now that's a strange image). I recently had to help interview people to find a new teacher at our school. One of them a friend. Interviewing a friend is not recomended :)

And better luck next time!

Kristi said...

Clearly, that university had no idea whom they were passing on. Not getting a job you secretly really wanted does suck. It's happened to me a few times when I was working FT, and as a freelance writer, it happens more times than I care to admit. Chin up, young person.

Betty M said...

Bastards and lousy interviewers to boot. You are better off without them. I am still bitter and twisted about a job I didn't get 8 years ago so I now how it rankles.

Major Bedhead said...

Everyone who said "Why didn't THEY ask YOU what your current position entailed?" is right, you know. It's not your job to ferret out what they want from a job interview. It's bad enough when you have to do that once they hire you.

calliope said...

shall we introduce them to the fine American past time of lighting a bag of dog shit at their front door??

seriously nutty feedback. If they were looking for you to talk about something specific why the eff didn't they just ask?

man- who wants to work with such inarticulate blow hards anyway??


Vacant Uterus said...

Boy are they going to regret that decision. I mean that seriously.

You're the best, we KNOW you are the best (because you told us so and because we believe you!) and therefore they are STUPID NINNYHEADS!!! Stupid idiotic fartbag dingo chasing purple monkey butts that smell like old farts from a dying frog. So there. But you're still gorgeous and divine and talented and you smell NOTHING like frog farts, dying or otherwise.

(PS~tried to comment on your last post and Blogger kept eating my comment. I gave up on the third try.)

sassymonkey said...

Here from NCLM

That seriously sucks. Job searching blows goats. I need to start searching soon and your post makes me want to hide under my bed...

Jendeis said...

I'm sorry that you didn't get the new job you wanted. That blows. If I hired people, I would hire you. You could BE my people!

The Town Criers said...

Fools. Obviously fools on their part. You have to feel sorry for them that they missed their chance to have you work for them.

The emotional teenager in them is giving them the finger for you.

OvaGirl said...

Pru that totally sucks big time and if i read your cryptic uni name inclusion right then we are hanging our heads in shame on their behalf.

Sucks pus and then some.

But please.... can I just say I snickered with glee at this delightful pru-ism...

"I am effortlessly charming motherfuckers!"

so you are my dear, so you are. Get Cal to add it to your blog header...

elizasmom said...

I agree — if they wanted to hear about your current job, they should've asked. But there may be something to nutsinmay's suggestion that this was pro forma to look like they did a search even though they had a candidate in mind. I work at a university where that happens all. the. time.

Still, sorry!

Pepper said...

Most people don't know that constructive criticism is an art and instead focus on the "criticism" part while completely forgetting to be constructive. Just think: if they were this bad after an interview, then what would they have been like to work with? Clearly they need to get over themselves and recognize the brilliance that is you.

Visiting from NCLM (and joining in giving them the finger)

Lut C. said...

Ack! I just went on an interview last week. I've been thinking whether I really want to switch jobs, but haven't thought as far as rejection yet.

Tash said...

Aw fuck. Hate those "on a whim" things that bait you and drag you along for a while. I had one of those -- the penultimate letter/form (it was govt.) asked "when can you start?" followed by the most ungrammatical rejection letter on the planet. Making me realize my paper was probably pushed through to meet some "Hey look! We considered a woman!" requirement. Even though I knew it was the longest of long shots, it still kinda bit. Wine goes a long a way toward making you feel a bit better about life, IMO.

PiquantMolly said...


Those assholes!

However, if you do want to be my ho, the offer still stands.