Yesterday was the day on which I was officially knighted as an official member of the Crazy Person Realm - my repeat prescription was issued. Dr Action, the man who doesn't wait until you try to kill yourself to prescribe anti-depressants, sat me down to make sure this is what I wanted. I explained that I was getting on well with Citalopram/Celexa, other than the heavy painful periods that I have TWICE a month.
I've been telling myself that the wonky periods that just happened to start at exactly the same time I started Citalopram were due to the medication with the published side effects of painful and heavy periods. There was no mention of irregular cycles to include 30 periods a month or whatever, but with PCOS and my body being just generally odd in reaction to medications, it made sense to me.
Not so with Dr Action. No sooner did I mention the strange cycles and my PCOS, then he went deep into thought and said, "Chlamydia. Yes. Get tested for Chlamydia." Then he kind of smirked, whilst I tried to reign in my "bitch, you crazy" eyes. I go to an appointment expecting a 30 second handover of a prescription, and come out with my doctor thinking I have some kind of crotch rot.
I had grand plans of blogging about this and coming up with witty titles such as "Clap Your Hands" or "Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah (Chlamydia)!", but then Molly enlightened me to say that the clap is actually gonorrhea, not chlamydia. I should have known that the doyenne of the Southern STD Collective would split hairs. I kid of course, Molly only has crabs.
Now I must pee in a cup to prove that I am not all chlamydia'ed up, which is pointless. Dr Action wasn't even aware that Citalopram caused heavy and painful periods, and no doubt he wanted to roll his eyes at me as soon as I said, "Well, I googled the side effects..." but sometimes googling DOES help. I read about women like me, crazy of mind and irregular of cycle. Whatever. I'll do my part, if not just to prove a point.
Now, who wants to have sex with me?