Message from the front lines

Lest anyone think that suburban Pennsylvania is without internet access, or that I am having such a fabulous time living large hanging at Wal-Mart and gorging myself on Denny's, I'm here to disabuse you of such notions. I am desperate to have a good couple of hours to just go online and read blogs, but I had forgotten that my own love of the internet has its origins - my Mom is forever on this thing googling local antiques auctions, and my newly-single brother has been trading miserablist MySpace messages and emails with his cohort of roughly 2126 friends. We are a rather internet-addicted family sharing one ickle laptop and it is decidedly most unfun. It's nearly 12.30am, so I'm going to be rather brief, but I had to get some blogging out of my system.

So my daughter turned 2 on Saturday. 2. It has been two whole years since the best night of my life, and this week is exactly 2 years after the worst week of my life. She has been marvelling in the whole birthday process, and is still singing Happy Birthday to herself and excitedly referring to every cake-like item as "P's happy birfday cake". She thinks her uncle is the funniest person alive, which he very well may be. P's language has accelerated so much in the past few weeks that I am both amazed and slightly saddened that my baby is gone. The mullet is still in place, but even that is slowly disappearing. Oh - tangent. The Dude says P doesn't have a mullet because a mullet "must be curly". WTF? He's such an idiot sometimes. Anyway, favourite P'isms from our time here:

"Mummy, head hurt. I poor baby."
"Ouchy knee much better."
"Gaypa (grandpa) funny! Uncle Dogs (don't ask) funny!" Parentheses mine, fyi.
"Starbucks gimp" - said when told to tell the dog (Gabe) sorry for bitch slapping him. Her love of Starbucks has clearly infiltrated all aspects of her life. For instance:
Me: "P, let's walk this way back to Grandpa's house." P: "No. Starbucks."
"I pooed. I stinky."

I'm tired, my brother is looming over me demanding the computer so he can muse at length about the reasons behind his break-up with his friends via IM. I have some fanfuckingtastic Aunt Florence tales which I was going to blog about now, but as I should really go to bed, I'll leave those for another time.

I hope to comment around soon, though I should make a personal shout-out to my girl DD for having her daughter, who by this late stage is probably nearly 2 herself. Better late than never I suppose.


Anonymous said...

Happy happy birfday, P! I can't believe it's been two years either.

I think this is such a great age, you get such an uncensored view of what's going on in their little heads!

-Nico (can't log in at work anymore)

electriclady said...

Happy birthday P! And a sad farewell to the mullet.

Aunt Becky said...

Happy Birfday, Miss P. The mullet's they are a-changing.

kate said...

Ooh. You have a Wal-Mart AND a Denny's? You lucky thing!

And WOULD that all mullets were curly... mee-YOW! Can I get an "AMEN"???

Can't wait for the Aunt Florence stories.

And "starbucks gimp" to you, too.

Erica said...

I'm all twitchy with excitement about the Aunt Florence stories. Cannot wait.

Defiantmuse said...

I was wondering wtf happened to you.
LMAO about your brother.
And tell The Dude, for the record, a mullet does NOT need to be curly.
I'm from the Deep South. I know ALL about the mullets.

hairyfarmerfamily said...

I, too, am dribbling in expectation of more Aunt Florence. Very Happy Birthday to Stinky Poo with the Ouchie Knee. If we see you in Stratford, ever, I will take P to Starbucks especially!

Kristi said...

Happy 2, P! You must post a birthday picture of her.

Good luck surviving the rest of your trip. Can't wait to hear about it.

DD said...

You know how Moms are trying to constantly marry off their children to each other via the internet?

Let's make a pact that the two will be in a civil union if they both are lesbians. And with that:

Happy Birthday, P!

Major Bedhead said...

Happy birfday, P!

The Bug is starting to lose her mullet, too. I'm not really complaining. :D

Lut C. said...

Happy birthday to P!