7/26/2008

The beginning of the end

Alas, this is not a post about Aunt Florence's recent escapades - you'll have to wait until the next post for that I'm afraid.

I'm just here to wish myself a happy birthday now that I'm so very, very old. I kid of course, 30 is totally the new 12. I'm not bothered by this landmark birthday at all, as all of the cool kids are in their 30s, 40s and 50s. The Dude, who is six years older than me, is a bit disappointed that he is no longer married to a broad in her 20s and instead is stuck with an old hag now in her 30s. I'm to ignore the fact that I'm married to a guy peering down the barrel at 40 though. Cheers darling.

Presents. My kid sang "Happy Birthday" to me today, finally dropping the "happy birthday dear P" part that she's been clinging to for weeks in favour of "happy birthday dear mummy". I'm honoured that of the 8000 times this song has been sung recently, she has at last determined that her birthday has passed and it's my turn. By the time The Dude turns 36 in a few weeks she might be able to make it topical!

The Dude appealed to my immense nerddom and bought me a book entitled, "Ghost Towns of Pennsylvania", which I am not ashamed to admit I had paged through earlier in the week. More presents are to come apparently, though given the loss of the credit card and the limited dollar cash supply, this may be limited to a free grilled cheese sandwich or gratuitous boob fondling.

My brother got me the new David Sedaris and Seasons 1 and 2 of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" on DVD. My Mom, crafty minx that she is, managed to creep over to the gallery next door and buy a series of small paintings I have been coveting. Not that anyone is particularly bothered, but pictures will follow when I can be arsed to upload some photos. I'm annoyed, as my Mom's cash flow is about as limited as mine currently, so now I have a heavy dose of guilt to go with my beautiful new pieces.

Here's where I get unpopular - I'm a bit frustrated with some other relatives because my own birthday passed with little recognition in favour of P's. I know it's so dreadfully selfish of me, but seriously, just because I have a child now doesn't mean I cease to exist. A card would be nice you know. I understand you gave P a card and presents and/or money, but I'm fucking 30 - recognise! I have never understood when people say things like, "Don't worry about me - just get a gift for the kid!" Uh, no. It's not that I'm spoiled, we compromise enough as parents. Now we have to give up our birthdays too?

So, for all of my family that could care less that as of 8.09pm I am officially a 30-something, I've sent myself a card.



Now if you'll excuse me, I must go have a birthday shower. I just got off the phone with Molly and the sexy Minnesotan twang paired with the throaty huskiness of her voice have made me all hot and bothered.

28 comments:

Betty M said...

Happy Birthday you and belated Happy Birthday P!

Have to say that aside from immediate family (ma, pa, sis) I haven't had b-day cards from any other family members since I was 21 let alone presents. I think I might collapse with shock if one arrived.

Major Bedhead said...

Happy birthday!

My husband tends to forget my birthday, which is a real kick in the head.

Brigindo said...

Happy Birthday to you. I remember my 30th birthday well and it was truly the beginning of the beginning. I loved it and have loved every year since.

I not only think my family should recognize and celebrate my birthday but I also believe I should celebrate me on Boy's birthday as that was the first day of a whole new life for me as well.

I don't believe becoming a mother or aging should ever stop you from celebrating you...so here's to you. Enjoy.

electriclady said...

Happy birthday babe! Welcome to the land of old-hagdom. It's pretty good over here.

Waiting Amy said...

Happy, Happy! Do something special for yourself (cause as you get older, no one else will!)

statia said...

Happy Birthday, Asshole. I'd take you to Valley Forge to get your rocks off, but you seem to evade me every time you come to the states, and yes, I AM taking it personally. Because after all, it is all about me.

Kristi said...

Happy Birthday, you young thing. I'm 2 years older, which of course makes me so much wiser as well.

You totally deserve cards. And presents. Expensive ones.

PiquantMolly said...

I'll call anytime you want to . . . warm upon again, dollface.

Happy 30th, you old ho.

OvaGirl said...

You bet it's important! Any birthday with a 0 after it deserves a huge pile of loot. I speak as one who has just left the 30s Pru!

Bittermama said...

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Ms. Pru-Uuuuuuuuuu... Happy Birthday to you!

'Cause I figured you haven't heard it enough and I haven't sung it enough lately.

Jenn said...

HAPPY TO YOU! as Nick says.

My birthday was last week, two days before my nephew's and two weeks before my boys'. It got lost in the shuffle too and it sucked. I'm not sure I want to be a grown up if my 30th birthday doesn't get just a little fanfare.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Happy birthday, my dearest. I hope you are having an amazing weekend.

Thalia said...

happy birthday sweetie. Sounds like your birthday was celebrated in exactly the right way for you and your family. Good for P for giving up her song, it's always hard to let go of a day where you're the special one.

Lut C. said...

In my family birthdays aren't that important, at least not beyond the 18th one. We're odd that way.

But that doesn't mean I can't wish you a happy birthday!

Tash said...

Happy Birthday!! Any chance this old fart could talk you into going to the Live at Noon show on Friday? As a birthday present? (Well, crap, it is free.) Lemme know. It's the Duke Spirit.

Aunt Becky said...

You're a sexy damn bitch and I love you madly. Happy birthday, my lover.

May said...

Thirty deserves massive quantities of gifts. It just does. I'm hugely selfish, though, so you might want to ignore me.

Caro said...

Welcome to the 30's, they're not so bad.

Helen said...

Much happy birthdays, babe.

30 rules.

You'll totally love it.

kate said...

HEY! Happy birthday! And screw people for not giving you a card! 30 is a round number!

You know, if you go to my blog, there's a link to my email address, and if you give me a mailing address, I'll gladly send you a horribly inappropriate card in belated celebration of your birthday. I mean, if you want.

Yeah, my husband's older than I am, too (only he's a little over 8 years older than I am). He just turned 40, so I've started calling him my "old man", which he just TOTALLY LOVES! (if by "totally loves" I mean he cringes and growls and shoots me that special STFU look...)

A Decade of BFNs said...

Seen ya had a birthday over at L & F. Happy BDAY!!

Clover said...

Happy belated birthday! And if it makes you feel any better, when I turned 29 and was newly pregnant with The Cutie Pie, my mother sent me flowers saying "Happy 30th Birthday." I think it was the next year, when I actually did turn 30, that she called to wish me a happy birthday, the day after my birthday. Then last year, when the twins were 3 weeks old, my mom was in town the weekend before my birthday and neither she nor my husband organized anything (like even a cake would have been fine). And the day of my actual birthday, my husband forgot to mention it the first few times when he called from work. He eventually remembered. We'll see what this year brings (its on Wednesday).

nutsinmay said...

Oh no! I missed your birthday! Argh!

Happy happy 30th, and may life in the big 3-somethings be simply fabulous.

(Also, what the hell is it with families? Mine don't even have the excuse of forgetting me in favour of my adorable birthday-song-singing spawn. And my mother also fills me with delight and love and terror and guilt by getting me something wildly expensive. Perhaps you shall do the same for P when she's 30, as trans-generational vengeance).

DD said...

Finally.

Now when I call you an "old whore", it won't be just half way true.

Happy Birthday!!

rockmama said...

We cease to exist to families once we produce the next generation. It's "old and busted" vs "new hotness".

But we still love you. Happy birthday. :)

Rachel said...

Happy Belated, you sexy bitch, you. 30 is totally the new 18, which means I'm 21 again!!

B.Mare said...

Happy birthday- belatedly, yes, but you'll find once you're over 30, the pace generally starts to slow down a bit.

Quietgirl said...

Happy 30 years to us. That grilled cheese sandwich doesn't sound too bad. Hope you got two :)