1/26/2006

The heart, it beats

I hate myself, but I'm going to do it anyway. Beware, this post contains some talk of pregnancy. However, no bellies were gleefully rubbed in the writing of this post.

Today was my first proper antenatal appointment. It could have fallen on a better day, as The Dude is having some sort of lovely invasive procedure on his hip, likely as we speak. I have been agonising over him dying on the table as a result of a previously unknown allergy to whatever sedatives they are using, and he has been agonising over whether Enid's heart still beats. We make an ideal pair.

Though he does not yet know it, Enid does still have a beating heart. It's loud and strong, most unlike its mother's emotional state. The doctor warned me beforehand that at 11w2d it may be too early, but as soon as the doppler touched my abdomen, the heartbeat could be heard right away. This has solidified my plans to get me one of those bitches.

The only other issue discussed was that of my midwife. It seems she will call me in the next week or so and then...come to my friggin' house for a stop and chat! I had no idea they did such things. My first thought was that it sounds like an adoption homestudy, with the midwife sitting there quietly and evaluate how very non-child safe our flat is, as well as arriving at the conclusion that the child-to-be will have a friendly, sociable, normal dad and a mostly insane, eccentric mother.

So that's it really. It's hardly unique or thrilling news, I know. I'm just pleased Enid isn't dead. I need to save those words for the blog, because The Dude isn't too keen on using "dead" in connection with Enid. Go figure. Oh, and I am now the proud owner of a Maternity Exemption Card. This means I do not have to pay any money toward prescriptions for the duration of the pregnancy, and I believe well into a baby's first year. Carrying the card in my wallet feels quite bizarre, like I've stolen it from a pregnant woman so I can pretend I'm pregnant too. Maternity and me...they just don't quite connect.

I know I said there wouldn't be stomach rubbing in this post, but one of my recent discoveries is proving too much to resist. In trying to find out more information about the various stages of pregnancy, I have come across online galleries of pregnant women posting belly shots. I know, who cares, right? HOWEVER, have you ever looked at the really early pregnancy ones? They are photographic proof that many fertile women are living on another fucking planet to IFers. There are a mixture of different situations:

-Skinny women with absolutely no visible pouching stomach rubbing their bellies or cupping an imaginary protrusion

-Skinny women with a slight distended stomach, but only because she is slouching and not sucking it in at all

-Large women that are...well, large. That ain't no baby sweetie, it's fat.

They all unite on these galleries, beaming at their non-existent 6w baby bellies. No doubt these women have already convinced themselves that the maternity pants they just bought are needed right away. Ugh.

And now, so we can go from mocking people to hating them, I give you this search which lead to my blog: "Infertiles stop feeling sorry for themselves". Amazingly, I was at the bottom of page one for this search. I guess I only mildly feel sorry for myself.

22 comments:

Kim said...

I'm glad to hear about Enid and I hope The Dude's operation goes to plan. :)

Lindy said...

Great news about Enid and speedy recovery to the Dude!

mm said...

Congrats on that loud and proud hb. Hope the Dude is back on his feet v. soon. Re: feriles with early belly shots. Assholes.

cat said...

Hurrah for you and Enid. Best wishes for the dude.

You get a maternity exemption card. On first glance I'm thinking but... you are pregnant how can they exempt you from maternity?

My brain is slowly melting.

Molly said...

Hooray hooray hooray for a beating heart! Best news all day! You are slowly inching toward second semester, dear. When are you going to start telling folks?

Not that your coworkers would be able to hear you over all of that loud chewing. Bitches.

Those belly shot galleries make me gag. 6 weeks? Are you fucking kidding me?

Jenn said...

Three cheers for not dead babies! And six week belly shots? BLEH! I'm 10w and it's still just fat. Hope The Dude does as well as Enid

Susie said...

Go, Enid, go!!!

And I took my first belly shot at 33 weeks. Just because there weren't ANY pictures of me pregnant, and I wasn't sure my family actually believed what they were reading on the internet. I felt like an imposter even then!

deborah said...

By "get me one of those bitches" I assume you mean a doppler, not a baby, right? Because the babes...they can be bitches, too! :-)

DrSpouse said...

Free dental treatment also, although as a friend pointed out, even if you had all your teeth replaced with gold ones it probably wouldn't pay you to get pregnant.

However if you miscarry before the 20th week you have to give your card back. Just thought you'd like that cheery tale of being kicked while you are down. I've also heard of women whose midwives hadn't heard they had miscarried and who came round to the house anyway.

For lots of women who know all about being pregnant in Britain have a look at the message boards on handbag.com. You may find a surfeit of babydust, though.

Manuela said...

Oh, sure...no big news... because you know... NOT DEAD is just so... yaaaawwwn... unimportant!

You silly, Tit!!

And you didn't mention the IF'ers who have 13 week bellies at 4 weeks from all the freaking hormones! And YES, dammit!! I am well aware that I am referring to Double-Crunch potato chips as hormones! Gottta problem with that??

Panda said...

I'm with Manuela. I mean, its just soooo not interesting news, why bother to let us know your BABY IS ALIVE AND DOING WELL????

Imagine I am tonking you with my specifically selected Tonking Fish. TONK!

I have to admit that I did buy maternity pants at 8 weeks, and I *did* wear them, but I think that was more to do with the peppermint icecream than actual baby bits.

DrSpouse said...

Just thought I'd add that I bought maternity sleep bras at about 7 or 8 weeks because I was so bloomin' uncomfortable. Nearly a year after the 10-week miscarriage they are still sitting in my drawer...

Kath said...

Yay, Pru! Good job Enid! I'm so glad everything is going so swimmingly (in a hardly unique or thrilling way, of course...). And I can't believe you're in your 12th week already! My do other people's pregnancies fly by...

"No bellies were gleefully rubbed in the writing of this post" was hilarious, my dear. I hate that belly-rubbing shit. *Especially* at six weeks. What is up with that?

I think your Doppler-buying plans are great. As the ad says, "It's Dopple the reassurance." OK, OK, there is no such ad, but I'm sure you agree that there should be.

I hope the Dude makes a quick and full recovery.

Pamplemousse said...

It's OK, Pru. I just clicked unsuspectingly on someone's blog who is posting not only a belly shot but they are topless! How are you going to top that???

Great news on Enid's heartbeat (or as I prefer, Morrissey Jnr). Hope the Dude recovers soon to talk you down from the giddy shelf now that you are getting free prescriptions!

Em said...

The maternity exemption card is great...although I haven't use dit yet. Apparently dental treatment is fee when you are pregnant. I am going to book an an appointment soon and I'll check it out (my gums are starting to bleed a lot).
I agree, the belly galleries are crap.I was looking on them to comapare sizes when I was 14 -18 weeks. Now I don't even bother.

elle said...

You are wrong - the news about Enid is FANTASTIC! Very wonderful and exciting! It does take a while to really wrap your mind around the whole pregnancy thing. I am only just easing into it at 6 mos I am excited and dumbstruck at the same time. I would almost feel like I was lying to say "I'm pregnant" except for the globose protrusion that was my stomach. It gets better...

Lut C. said...

Good news about Enid. Tell her I said to keep it up.

I hope the Dude won't immobilised too long. He needs to keep up with the housework, so you don't have to. ;-)

I'm curious to know what the midwife visit is for, but no doubt you'll let us know.

DrSpouse said...

I get the impression the midwife visits you, rather than having you make an appointment with her at the hospital or GP surgery, because of the very large number of women who don't keep up with their antenatal care. They'd also be able to assess whether your home was suitable to give birth in, should you want to. But they could come round and assess that later, given the small number of people who want that.

The first visit is to book you in, including I think making sure you start thinking about where/how you want to give birth, and is supposed to take place after your "first" (i.e. 12 week) scan, presumably to - once again - eliminate people that have miscarriages. Excuse me while I sound bitter again...

But anyway I'm sure someone who's actually had a first visit will be able to tell you more...

Ova Girl said...

Yay for that beating heart and get well soon Dude.Love the review of the 6w belly brigade. Chortle.

Mary Scarlet said...

go enid! yea! do they have much counterfeiting of the maternity exemption card? that sounds like a sweet setup.

thalia said...

Pru I've now realised what the point is of this pregnancy - you can go and score some drugs for those of us left behind. Go on - a little puregon on that free card is surely not too much to ask? No you think they'd be suspicious? Damn, it's got to be good for something...

So glad to hear that enid is hanging in there. Did I miss you deciding that it was enid and not bertrand?

Alexa said...

Well done Enid, being Alive, and all. And hearing the heart...that must have been lovely.
Hope the Dude recovers speedily.
And Molly's right! You are practically out of the first trimester--surely another trip to IKEA for some additional spjorklatts is in order...