Seriously, my girl parts are very naughty indeed. They have severe disciplinary problems and minds of their own, the whimsy of which I am not privy to. Picture this, if you will...Here I am Monday afternoon, frantically tip tapping away on a paper that is due by midnight. I go to the bathroom, and lo and behold, someone has not been listening to the body clock that dictates this as day 19 of my cycle. Communication girl parts, communication!! Basically, this is my lengthy way of saying that for some bizarre reason, I was spotting. As it turns out a proper period did not occur, but still...spotting on day 19?? I'm completely baffled as to the cause of this. I keep telling myself my body is confused, given all the drugs it has been filled with and the random times I've had my periods induced. Any brilliant ideas, or is a heart to cooter talk in order?
So I've got cooter miscommunication issues and The Dude is mad at me. I'm doing well here. It seems I'm too negative, who guessed?!?! I am, apparently, shall we say...a bit of a downer. Yup, that about sums it up. I tried to be non-negative in defense of myself, but it quickly descended into a negativity spiral. I maintained that this is who I am, always have been, always will be, and then the funniest thing came out of The Dude's mouth: "You're not as negative as you think you are. You keep up this facade of extreme negativity to make yourself more interesting." It was all I could do not to crotch punch him. Apparently negativity is my schtick. I do this for the laughs. I am the Janeane Garafalo of the expat, infertile community. If I would have known this was a gimmick, I'd have asked for money.