I have been comment-dodging a lot lately, because I don't think I have anything of note to say. Lots of the bloggers I read have much going on with them at the moment, but my comments generally consist of, "Fingers crossed", "Wishing you luck" and various other trite sentiments at which most bloggers probably roll their eyes.
My reasons behind such lame comments are not because I don't care, or lack of general creativity. I'll tell you what it is...I'm a complete imposter. As long as I've been on this happy trail of infertility, I have consciously avoided learning much about infertility itself. I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, so I'm not able to learningly chime in, "Oh, x number of fertilised eggs is good/bad/other". I'm sure much of this is as a result of yet experiencing the immense joy that is IVF, but I'm otherwise ignorant on the infertility front as well. Girl doesn't even know what a beta is. I know multiplying of beta numbers is good, but increases in things usually are positive signs.
"The information is at your fingertips you dumb bitch!" you shout. "Dr Google is always in!" someone in the back screams. I know this, but to be perfectly honest, I don't want to know. Prior to the Clomid nightmare I charted my temps, as if that ever bloody works. I gave up after a month, because there are so many extenuating factors that make that method worthless. While I was charting I obsessively took notes in my little fertility journal (ha!), furiously scribbling down any unique occurrences. I read information online, attempting to bring all of my notes into one cohesive unit so that I could make sense of it all. Alas, I couldn't, and alas, here I am.
I think further pursuit of the details of infertility treatments would do no favours for my already obsessive personality. Besides, I don't have room in my brain for all of this extraneous information. I've got to cram all this art history crap into it, so I can't be ruminating on the nuances of my reproductive system. I already know it does what it wants. These ovaries listen to no man, or GLCP. That's enough knowledge for me.
For those of you that scroll right by my bland comments, I do apologise. When it is my IVF time, I'll try to brush up on my embryo talk so I know what the hell people are talking about when they leave comments on my own blog. If I were to get pregnant though, leave the beta out of it. I would just be thinking of those pretty little fish that only survive in shallow bowls.