As I recounted the other day, I have recently been reminded of the brilliance of my ovaries. That's brilliance in their overall crapness. They aren't the smart kids in school, the ones that sit in the front of the class frantically waving their hands at the teacher because they know the answer to everything. Mine are the dumb kids that sit in the back of the room, picking their noses and eating it, praying the entire time that the teacher doesn't call on them. They can't be bothered producing viable eggs because really...what's the point? My little underachievers.
They needn't worry that they are the only ones not realising their potential. In the past couple of appointments I have been reminded about my posterior left ovary, which I've known about for ages as it means I have extremely uncomfortable ultrasounds. Poor junior wandmonkey doesn't know what to do when she's put in charge of finding the missing ovary, and I swear my lungs are going to pop up on the ultrasound screen sometime soon given the way she wields that wand. Retarded sexual organ count: Tilted cervix- check, posterior ovary- check, perfect polycystic ovaries- check. I'm totally stealing from Miranda in Sex and the City here, but it is really the Special Olympics of Conception where I'm concerned. Any child being born of this fucked up reproductive system would indeed deserve a medal with those insurmountable odds.
This brings me to some comments that were left regarding my awareness of my perfect polycystic ovaries. I have often thought about how "glad" I am that I know I have PCOS, as it makes the problem much easier to attempt to address. I emphathise greatly with women that have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, as it must be atrocious to not know the source of your problem. I can't begin to fathom what it must be like to not know why your body is doing what it is doing. However, I wish that knowing my problem is PCOS would actually lead to knowing what to do to treat it, which does not seem forthcoming. Basically, I know I have screwed up ovaries, but when it comes to figuring out the best way to make them work properly, that too is unexplainable. The moral of this story is infertility in its various incarnations sure does suck, doesn't it?
5 comments:
Well, hello there. Tried to email you, but got a delivery error message. So excuse me for hijacking your comments section, but...
Just wanted to say thanks for the nice words on my blog. I've been getting a lot of traffic lately, but not many comments, so I was worried that people might be leaving my site, shaking their heads sadly, and thinking "what the fuck was that train wreck all about?"
Now that you're on my radar, rest assured I will be scrolling through your own blog in the days to come. I do so love an underachieving ovary!
Deborah
I feel your pain Deborah. My traffic to comment leaving ratio is pitifully low, and I wonder what's going on as well. I know a few people have had trouble emailing me, and I think it's because it's yahoo.co.uk vs yahoo.com. I hope that's it anyway...my hotmail experience was bad enough! Thanks for stopping by.
Dear Pru,
While I don't have any personal experience with it, I know from some of the other women I've spoken with that PCOS is an awful and frustrating thing to deal with. Are your doctors not offering ANY options for you?
Hang in there!
--Bugs
Oh, and just an FYI that only about 1/25 of my visitors actually leave comments, and I would bet it's similar with most other blogs. As your traffic increases and people get more and more involved in your story, the comments will go up.
Thanks for the good wishes Bugs. There isn't really much that can be done with PCOS, so for now I'm trying to focus solely on infertility rather than PCOS-related infertility if that makes any sense! Now if only all those other pesky PCOS symptoms would just piss off...
comments about no comments... I don't leave many comments at all, partly because so many bloggers are so witty and cynical and just plain amusing, and I'm just not. So I hate to leave a blah, boring comment on a really cool funny post. And then on top of that I only end up posting about 10% of the comments I actually write - it's almost as if I'm back in grade school, standing in the back watching the cool kids and wishing I were one of them, but afraid to go and join in. How pathetic is that?
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