There is no baby here today

I was going to write about my awful breastfeeding experiences and how I hate the "b" word now, but I'll give you all a break from my baby-related experiences for awhile lest you collectively start to jump ship. Instead, I've chosen to talk about me, me, me. You know, for a change.

I've written previously about my blog persona versus my real life self. I often think that those who read my blog would be severely disappointed in me in reality, as I think my blog persona is how I'd like to be in real life, as opposed to who I truly am. For instance, my language is not nearly so naughty. Based on Blog Pru, you'd think I went to the Al Swearengen School of Charm. Real Pru usually only swears in the presence of The Dude and Little Ms P. I do preface my swearing by shouting "EARMUFFS!" at P. in the hopes that she'll cover her ears and not be sullied by my foul language. I have had the good fortune to speak on the phone with another graduate of Al's School of Charm, my Cheese Wife, and neither one of us have sworn thus far. How we do it, I just don't know. For the record, Little Ms P's future MIL, Lumi, does maintain her blog persona in real life. Just hours after giving birth to the gorgeous Lucy, Lumi was all about the various uses of the word, "fuck". You gotta love that consistency.

So anyway, before I rattle on about myself in the form of two (yes, two!!) questionnaires that have circulated through the blogosphere lately, I'd like to know how representative you think your blog self is of you. Perhaps even some of you are more fascinating in real life than you are in your blogging life. Oh, how envious I am of you.

Questionnaire No. 1, courtesy of one Cheese Wife:

One book that changed your life: Wow, that's a tall order, isn't it? In what will be the start of a series of vague answers to this questionnaire, I can't say that any one book has changed my life. Corny as it sounds, I think my answer would be any books by Beverley Cleary and Judy Blume. Their books inspired me to have something to read with me at all times throughout my childhood. This often extended to cereal boxes and paint cans, but hey...that thirst for books was created, right? I will leave out my eventual, preteen love of the Babysitter's Club and Sweet Valley High series.

One book that you've read more than once: Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita. I read it once, and subsequently read it again. I love me some Nabokov.

One book you would want on a desert island: Naked, by David Sedaris. If I'm stranded on a desert island I sure as hell want to have something to laugh about.

One book that made you laugh: See Sedaris, above. If you have not read any of David Sedaris' work, get thee self to Amazon right away. I first read Me Talk Pretty One Day in my college library between classes over a 2 day period. I got really cosy in a plump armchair and laughed until my eyes were devoid of any more tears and my stomach felt as if it would burst. I got a lot of strange looks from other people in the library, but my god was it ever worth it.

One book that made you cry: I've cried reading the newspaper, so it isn't much of a challenge to make me cry. Most recently, I suppose it was The Time Traveller's Wife. As someone who has the constant morbid thought that her spouse will die and leave her to raise a child alone, it really resonated with me. The entire book was tragic and depressing, which is just my style.

One book that you wish had been written: Not a book per se, but I always liked the work of Christopher Marlowe and wished he hadn't come to such an unfortunate end at the ripe old age of 29. I mean, the man wrote Dr Faustus and met his end via a knife above the eye. That's harsh. How can you not be intrigued by a man that is described on one website as a "rakehell"?

One book that you wish had never been written: Ann Coulter

The book that you are currently reading: Who has the time? It took me three weeks to read one newspaper. I have a bunch of books sitting in the bookcase begging to be read, but isn't that always the case?

One book that you have been meaning to read: Too many to count. I read the book reviews in the Guardian every weekend and lament that it will take me decades to read all that I would like to.

Questionnaire No. 2, stolen from Bri at Unwellness:

What songs would you have on your personal "meaningful mix" CD?

1) A favorite political track: This is hard already. I'll say Man in Black by Johnny Cash. Yeah, it's political. I think.

2) One of those tracks that make you dance on the dancefloor no matter what: If by "dancefloor" you mean my worn out nasty-ass carpet in my lounge, then it is Rockstar by N.E.R.D

3) The song you’d use to tell someone you love them: Speak to me Someone by Gene, and I have.

4) A song that has made you sit down and analyze its lyrics: I never read liner notes. I make up my own lyrics if I have any doubts.

5) A song that you like, that a two year old would like as well: Send Me on My Way by Rusted Root. I stole that from Bri, who in turn stole it from someone else. It's just that kinda song I guess.

6) A song that gives you an energy boost: Common People by Pulp

7) A song that you and your grandparents (would probably) like: I can't think of anything. My grandpa (the only grandparent I knew) was solely a wartime music kind of person. Chattanooga Choo Choo and all that.

8) A song that you really liked when you were 14-16, and still really like now: The Queen is Dead, by The Smiths. Well, anything by The Smiths.

9) A sad song that would be in the soundtrack of the movie about your life: Hurt, by Johnny Cash. I dare you not to cry.

10) A peppy song that would start the opening credits of the movie about your life: Me, peppy? Haha.

11) A good song from a genre of music that no one would guess that you liked: 99 Problems by Jay Z. I'm all about Jay Z.

12) A song that you think should have been playing when you were born: Ring of Fire, get it? Get it? Yeah...bad joke.

13) A favorite artist duo collaboration: Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan, You Are My Sunshine. I know, another Johnny song. I can't help it, Johnny rules.

14) A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally, commonsenically,religiously etc.): This is hard. So hard, I don't have an answer.

15) The song that you like despite the fact your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it: This list could go on and on. I am a total pop music whore. My most recent obsession is Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado. Love. that. song.

16) Your smooth song, for relaxing: The Sprout and the Bean, Joanna Newsom

17) A song you would send to someone you hate or are mad at: Untouchable Face, Ani DiFranco

18) A favorite track from an outfit considered a “super-group”: Bootylicious, Destiny's Child. Yay for Destiny's Child.

19) A song that makes you reminsce about good times with a family member: Blaze of Glory, Bon Jovi. I know. My brother and I shared the Young Guns II soundtrack on tape and would lay under his bunk bed and sing along. That, my friends, is the epitome of cool.

20) Your favorite song at this moment in time: When You Were Young, The Killers. The lead singer, Brandon Flowers, is rocking the Deadwood chic look in this video and for some reason I find this hot. Really hot.

Phew. I'm tired now. Please feel free to provide your own answers to these questions in the comments sections or on your own blogs. I need some diversions from sticking my tit in a pump and eeking out the small amount of milk I'm capable of producing. Help me out here.


EJW said...

Two things on your books:

1. Lolita is especially well crafted considering English was not Nabakov's first language, or even his second. Russian, French, then English. I don't think I could write a book nearly that amazing in my first language, let alone my third!

2. Time Traveler's Wife: I called it "Best Book of 2006" to anyone who would listen. You know how you can tell a really great book by the way you wish it wouldn't end so that you could continue to have the characters in your life? A perfect example.

Anonymous said...

Ooo, songs! Here are a few that would be on my life's soundtrack:

Favorite Political Track - Trouble, by The Indigo Girls.

Makes You Sit and Analyze the Lyrics - Love's Recovery, by The Indigo Girls (yeah, I know -- I love those crazy lesbians)

Brings Me Out to the Dancefloor: gotta be Bootylicious

Sad Song in the Soundtrack of Your Life: undoubtedly, Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto #2 in C minor. The 2nd movement (Adagio Sostenuto) especially. Devastating.

Song I'd Use to Tell Someone I Love Them: "Such Great Heights" by Iron & Wine. You know, that song from those M & M commercials. Simple and stunning.

A Favorite Song I Completely Disagree With: How Great Thou Art, my favorite hymn. I'm an atheist.

Favorite Song at this Moment in Time: "Letter to Hermione," David Bowie. Beautiful.

I'll add this one -- Best Song To Have Sex To: Howard Hanson's Symphony #2: Romantic. Mindblowingly lush. Like a musical orgasm.

Ahhh, that was fun. Now, get back to the milking parlor, Bessie!

Bittermama said...

Oh, The Babysitters Club! And Sweet Valley High! And Untouchable Face! We are definitely the same age.

MsPrufrock said...

Leave it to Molly to come up with something sex-related. Conveniently, I have my own list of songs to have sex to. In fact, I have an entire folder for that music on my computer. Yeah. It's like that.

Lapdance: N.E.R.D
Justify My Love: Madonna
Christiansands: Tricky (this is the sexiest song EVER)
Milk: Garbage
Closer: Nine Inch Nails

Molly picked all nice and soft classical music, whereas most of the songs above are total whips, chains and latex songs.

Lut C. said...

My blog persona is a carbon copy of my IRL persona. No imagination, halfbaked attempts at humorous comments, tedious posts.

Books: I'm currently reading Anne of Green Gables.

Music: 'Comfortably Numb' as covered by the Scissor Sisters has been the sound track of my life for the last weeks.

Anonymous said...

Looove your music choices. You and I could, like, totally hang out. I promise I'm not quite as crazy/stupid/pissed off as I usually sound on my blog.

Anonymous said...

Dude. You don't fuckin' swear in real life? What the hell is that shit?

I actually swear MORE in real life. I have a mouth like a truck driver. My real life persona is pretty much my blog persona.

Rachel said...

I think my blog persona is much nicer and more reserved than my real-life self. The blog is less sarcastic, less cynical, less angry, etc.

I'm very scary.

Books: The Time Traveler's Wife is a very very good book. I've read it at least five times now and I cry every time. My mom currently has my copy and won't give it back so I suppose I'll have to get another.

I'll answer the music questions on my blog someday in the far future when I have more than 15 baby-less minutes.

Thalia said...

I swear more in real life, like statia. Famous for my potty mouth. Only we don't call it that in the UK.

I've read most of my books more than once, but lolita would not be one of them. Didn't really enjoy it, although I can recognise its art.

Twisted Ovaries said...

I swear in real life, too. I think I swear more in real life than I do on my blog-my team at work are a group of swearers too, I'd expect no less from them.

You had me at Sedaris.

Of course, you consequently lost me at Destiny's Child, as I think they're the spawn of an Ann Coulter/Malkin uterus joining that evicted Damian in favor of Beyonce, but still.

Points on the Sedaris.

PS-you want a tearjerker? Elizabeth Berg's "Talk Before Sleep". Only people who are dead inside don't cry at that book.

Anonymous said...

Hey! I'm not a total prude! I also love "Closer" by NIN. Give me a little credit!

And here's my song that I am utterly embarassed to admit that I like lately: "London Bridge" by Fergie. I'm ashamed.

Eggs Akimbo said...

Judy Blume...when I read Are you there God it's me Margaret when I was 9 I thought it was so amazing. Like I had discovered something really monumentous. Of course, then I read Forever and that was really risque at the time!

Tim said...

I know I don't belong here, because I don't have ovaries, but I'm pleased that you like Johnny Cash. It shows you are either very cool, or enjoy wearing black. Also, stop writing "titpump" because it's getting me excited. Again, I have no business here, what with my chosen genitalia and all, but cheers to you and the little ankle-biter.

Suz said...

Ohh...I love David Sedaris, but in addition to buying the books, I have them on CD. I think he's funny in print, but possibly even funnier when he's reading his stuff aloud. Funny either way.

Unknown said...

I think IRL I'm probably a lot quieter than people who read me would expect. But there is frequent swearing, and frequent bad attempts at humour.

The only book I can think of that made me cry is The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Dude, when they killed Aslan...I was a gonner. Every single time.