12/30/2008

Learning Curve

Lesson one of re-discovering your happiness through synthetic means: when the manufacturer of your medication tells you in bold print that in the beginning you may have severely heightened anxiety, believe them. They are not fucking with you. It is in bold print for a reason.

Because I rock the party, I'm having a particularly heavy period in this time of adjusting to this new drug. It was much heavier than normal this morning, to the point that I bled through everything. In the bathroom I panicked, which was a wise move. Suddenly, I had tunnel vision, my ears were ringing, and I couldn't stand up. I managed to go up the stairs to the bedroom, smacking into walls and stair gates in the process. I made it to the bedroom, where I finally collapsed. I was holding a completely soaked maxi pad wrapped in toilet paper, which I managed to push under the bed so I wasn't found with it clutched in my hand. I could hear my Mom and The Dude ask if I was ok, but didn't have the energy or wherewithal to respond.

The Dude came in and stood over me calling my name. P also arrived to serve her primary purpose of poking me in the face and saying, "Whatchu doin' Mum? Whatchu doin' Mum?" The Dude helped me to the bed, and I groggily repeated, "I'm going to be sick, I'm going to be sick!" He ran into the kitchen and grabbed the fruit bowl (empty, for any of you fruit/vomit fetishists out there), but it was too late. Thankfully I hadn't eaten in awhile, so when I was sick all over myself and the bed there wasn't much cleanup required.

Now I'm laying in bed blogging about my first ever fainting episode. I'm pleased I could do it with such grace - collapsing in a heap of bloodied pyjamas, attempting to be covert with a used maxi pad, then ending the drama by throwing up on myself. You can say a lot about me, but damn if I ain't one classy broad.

23 comments:

A said...

Oh honey. I wish this was easier right now.

Thinking of you.

Calliope said...

holy fuck!
Well it can only get better, right?
thinking of you and wishing I could help you through.
xo

Tash said...

Wow, sounds remotely like my yesterday: nausea, scratchy throat, followed shortly by full-on ear ache in my left ear, AND my period. I'm deaf, and I'm hemorrhaging and there ain't no way I'm doing it in a classy manner. You at least have PJs on and are attempting to take care of things in the bathroom.

Point being: could be something going around and not big pharm. Hang tight.

Nic said...

I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself on the way from the bathroom to the bedroom!! I hope that the side effects dissipate soon. xox.

DD said...

Damn. A perfect photo-op, missed.

Just trying to make you smile through the bile after taste because I love you and I guess if you were to finally post again, what better way to make an entrance?

elizasmom said...

Is it wrong that even as I was wincing in sympathy, I was also laughing a little bit?

I am sorry the adjustment period (eck) is so rough, but I hope things improve quickly.

Brigindo said...

Wow what a picture. Hope the meds regulate quickly and you're feeling better soon.

Major Bedhead said...

Good grief. I have a tendency to faint for no apparent reason, so I can sympathize with that one. It sucks and it's scary. I hope you're feeling better today....

fisher queen said...

What did they give you?? Ask for Zoloft.

Bittermama said...

Wow. That sounds... absolutely fucking horrible. I'm so sorry, sweetie.

Emily said...

Sweet jesus that does NOT sound like fun. sending you loads of get better vibes!

Miz S said...

Holy moly! Hope you're feeling better by now, and hope the side-effects go away quickly.

Jenn said...

*hugs*

If you're going to do something, might as well do it well :)

Panda said...

Way to ring in the new year, pru.

Think you might want to change chemistry there...

jbondsgirl said...

Oh geez, Pru! You aren't supposed to do that until AFTER the drunkfest. I hope it gets better soon, hon. I hope you're walking around with bluebirds singing atop your head in a few weeks.

xo
Flicka

wheelsonthebus said...

that sucks

Beautiful Mess said...

I almost passed out in the kitchen this month too! However I was WAY less classy about it. I cried like a baby and asked my husband WTF was going on?! I hope you're feeling better soon!
hugs,
-D

Magpie said...

Ugh.

I have, twice, fainted on the toilet. My doctor told me that I'm a fainter, and I should just lie the hell down...

OvaGirl said...

Hope you're feeling better Pru. And yep, that sure was one classy bleed/faint/spew combo. Trust you to set the bar so high.

nutsinmay said...

Oh my dear girl. So sorry to be late to the mopping-up party, was away sans broadband. But Jeez, you do these things with style. Period woosh AND fainting AND vomit.

I sincerely hope you are feeling better. And that 2009 fails to suck entirely. A whole year of non-suckiness. That's what you should have. Excuse me while I go beat some sense into the Universe

Thalia said...

Sounds like you really need a break. I hope you are getting one. With lots of bad tv, chocolate and the occasional run. And the good drugs. Hang in there.

hairyfarmerfamily said...

Oh honey. That's quite a spectacularly bad day, isn't it? Poor you; I'm so so sorry.

I once lost conscious during a blood draw mid-miscarriage. I awoke to find Hubby fanning me frantically with a maternity pad, as it was all he could find in the sterile hospital room. The doctor, of course, had fled to summon an elusive nurse. I have no idea how being prodded at that point with a 'Whatchudoing Mum?' spouting child would have affected me, but I'm thinking... badly.

Brave soldier!

kate said...

Good God, fainting sucks. And panic attacks suck. And one tends to feed the other, so you feel a weird twinge, and then panic, and then feel really weird, then panic some more, and then the next thing you know, it's tunnel vision and barfing.

Man, I've so been there. Only mine is precipitated by my own poor brain chemistry, so I don't have the excuse that I didn't believe the fine print. Oh, and it usually happens to me in a vastly more public place, like at the grocery store check-out line. Fun, indeed.

I wish you the best for a speedy path through this phase of the medication adjustment. I do so wish we lived closer so we could run together. It's getting harder and harder to motivate myself to do it alone. Sigh.