Apparently, there is nothing like a little sex talk to bring out the commenters. I'm pleased that so many of you were inspired to say something, and no, I don't feel so alone now. Phew, I'm not the only infertile to not be having constant sex. I dread to think how many Smug Fertiles that would confound, "Stupid, whining barren women. Perhaps if you had SEX you might get pregnant. All it takes is some sex and relaxation." Cue forehead slapping and eyerolls.
However, despite my proven frigidness, I am still a whore when it comes to one thing. No, I am not referring to Johnny Depp...so make that two things, yes, two things for which I am a total whore. The other object of my lasciviousness is small, compact and has two little windows into its evil yet beguiling soul. This creature of which I speak is cunning and seductive; it whispers to me when my husband has just left the room. You may call it an HPT, I call it The One For Whom I Will Spread My Legs in an Instant.
I asked The Dude to buy an HPT, intending to test right before Dr WHYBAML gave me the signal to start Provera. You know what they say about best-laid plans...The Dude casually handed over the instrument of doom to my outstretched hand, and like Gollum with His Precious, I snatched that bitch like a ravenous animal. I ran into the bathroom, fondling the double box of HPTs, debating whether to break down and just pee on one. I think you know where this is going. Once I figured out how to take the plastic wrap off the box (very complex act), it was but just a moment until I was glancing nervously at the second window.
Not surprisingly an empty white window stared back at me, which I expected of course, so I ditched it before it could taunt me further. I had sex twice a week for the past month for this? Fate, you gotta give me something to work with here!
I know I'm not the only one out there that has been so used and abused by HPTs. The emotional abuse continues, yet we keep going back. We are a sick bunch of cats, this much is true. This twisted group has some new recruits over at yonder blogroll. Some are newborn bloggers, whereas others have been around for awhile and my lackadaisical ass has only just gotten round to adding them. Give them some love.