Like, infertility issues are hot

That's my Paris Hilton impression. What do you think? For the record, I typed that as I was clutching my pocket rat dressed in a pink Gucci top, seductively glancing at my monitor with a vacant look on my face, pouting.

It seems that lately I cannot visit news sites without being bombarded with issues related to fertility. It seems to be the issue du jour, which is both reassuring and annoying simultaneously. It's reassuring in the sense that recognition of the problems related to infertility increase awareness and abolish ignorance as well as the potential increase of government funding. It's annoying because with stories of infertility come stories of abundant fertility. Not the 35 year old suburban stay at home mom with three kids type, but rather the 15 year old with two kids living on a council estate type. I regularly experience such polarities as reading one article and thinking, "Yay, acknowledgement this is a problem more common than is realised!" to clicking the next link and wallowing in the inequity of life.

Yesterday this story was the headline on the BBC website. I awoke to IVF clinic ratings as the first story on the tv news, as well as on UK-based news websites. I wondered if I had suddenly stumbled into an infertile-friendly alternate universe where women were no longer viewed as freakish opponents of the natural order for daring to undertake ART. There is a nifty little chart in the article with the 6 clinics with the highest percentage of IVF cycles leading to live births, as well as the bottom 6. The clinic at the bottom of the table has a...10.3% success rate. 10.3%!!! The thought of people paying £3000-£4000 for a success rate like that is shocking. The clinic we are planning on going to is apparently not in the top 6, but based on the percentages indicated, cannot be much below that. I've just spent over an hour poring over statistics and my head just might explode. Live birth rate, age factors, infertility factors, ICSI vs IVF, Burger King versus McDonalds...I just don't know. What I do know is that everytime I see "Singleton live birth" I think I'm reading a Helen Fielding book.

Ladies, welcome to the flip side. Three teenage sisters under the age of 17 all have little joys of their own. Precious, isn't it? Aside from the abysmal names they have graced their children with, their mother has also blamed the lack of sex education in the schools for the three girls' ahem...indiscretions. Of course it is in no way a reflection of poor parenting on her part! Oh, and is it wrong that I looked at the photograph of the three of them, and when my eyes reached the third skank thought, "Ew. Someone had sex with that? She looks like a shrew." Yeah, I think it might be wrong, or at the very least not the way someone that is attempting to procreate should think. Oh well.

In the event that IVF is a failure, or I don't go back in time and get my 12 year old self knocked up (which, if I was like my real 12 year old self actually was, would be quite difficult since I don't *think* you can get pregnant from awkwardly kissing your middle school boyfriend in his rec room on a dare), we will look into adoption. This subject is also in the news, thanks to this study. Reassuring for my adoption-uneducated mind to read, since lack of adjustment is something that concerns me regarding adoptions.

I am trying to convince The Dude to adopt within the next few months actually. He teaches an absolutely charming 18 year old boy that shares our sense of humour. This child quotes Eddie Izzard and watches Scrubs. 'Nuff said. I'm thinking that there will be minimal paperwork involved, as well as no agency or travel fees! He's just about to head off to university, but I am willing to pay his tuition if it means he can be my new son. The hard work is already done for me, and I get to benefit from him being a perfect mix of mini Pru and mini The Dude! Bliss.


Susie said...

Names like T-Jay are one big reason why 12-year-olds should not be having babies. Aaaaaargh!


Suz said...

I agree with Susie; we know two teen moms through one of George's friends. They have named their children Jakub (pronounced Jacob, although we always pronounce it Jay-KUB) and Reagan. Let's name a child for a right-wing president and King Lear's horrible daughter. However, the last one still isn't bad unless you know Reagan's little brother's name ....Clinton.

Manuela said...

This is so weird... as in cosmically (wait...that can't be right... cosmicly? cosmikly... hell... you know what I mean) weird. This is the second blog entry I've read today that references infertility being in the media. And you've made a point that I also made a while back in this post here:


The entry called Inconceivable from April 30th. In short... I think that infertility is on the upswing of a fad lifestyle thing. Which... is both good... and bad. Anyway... pop over to my blog cuz I said it all so much more entertainingly (again... what's with me and the made-up words today) over there.


Molly said...

I know! Infertility is everywhere these days! Lots of people have blogged about Inconceivable, plus I keep hearing news reports on the latest stem cell research funding spat in the legislature regarding using embryos donated by fertility clinics for stem cells. I can't figure out yet whether all of this will come to good or bad. It has potential for either, but I tend to be pessimistic. By the way, if you adopt mini Pru/Dude, I sure as hell better be godmother.

Dooneybug said...

I read that article....can I barf now? How absolutely disgusting it all is, especially the totally incompetent mother. No wonder why those girls are they way they are.

Good luck with IVF. I've just started reading your blog in the last week or so. Where are you in the process?

T said...

Unfortunately, only time will tell how the media influences the "community" at large. We all know people take out of stories/news what they will. Or maybe they'll get on to the heartbreak and not just the tentuplet stories.

Suz - you are kidding, right?

VHMPrincess said...

600 PER WEEK? That's about $900 US a week - really? That's what they get?

I can't believe the MOM blames the school. Way to take responsibility.

Pamplemousse said...

Oh yes, and on the same day, a 52 year old gives birth to premature IVF twins in my local hospital. Kudos to the woman but it is these stories which skew the perception of IVF for us normal women.

B. Mare said...

I guess we won't be rushing off to have treatment in Slough then...! No Scottish clinics in those league tables...mmmm...

K said...

Ugh, you gotta love the media. Without it I would never know these stories. The sisters probably act like it's the coolest thing ever, you know their kids are so close in age, totally.

Ugh, and my first RE told me I was too young. Ha!

Pamplemousse is right, it's too bad they can't do stories on normal, young healthy couples who have to do IVF. You only hear horrow stories or "freak of nature" stories. It's frustrating to someone like me, fighting nationally to have some legitimacy for the issue.

amyesq said...

ARGGHH!! I can't believe the article with the three sisters! have to catch my breath. And of course the worst part is their idiot mom taking no responsibility for it. Damn, that is one full house.

Sarah said...

Yeah, it's definitely the school's fault. Also, liberals.

I honestly think the renewed focus on fertility issues is a function (at least in the States) of the vigor of a certain conservative faction. And that worries me.

Even if it's not a vast right-wing conspiracy, it certainly does seem like infertility is the new black. Yucky.

Internal Spring said...

Yeah, what those girls needed was some US style sex ed - abstinence is best which translates into lots of kids having oral and anal sex, because it's all about the hymen.

I'd still rather be infertile than a pg kid living on welfare - I think.

thalia said...

I must have been on another planet on friday because I didn't see any of the hu-hah about the article, but found it yesterday when i was researching if we should be switching clinics. One clinic said on its website it was in the top 10, but the report doesn't actually rank them. Frighteningly, the clinic we're going to has a very low success rate (14.something) that I now want to ask my doc about. Was going to email you to chat about the results when I'd had a chance to investigate