Vignettes of a trip abroad

The jig is up. I haven't blogged in fifty years, so if you are unfortunate enough to remember who I am, you probably don't even remember my allusions to a secret. The secret is, I flew to the US a couple of weeks ago for a real, live job interview. I *still* haven't heard whether I got the damn thing or not, though I suspect much like the magic period that turns up right when I waste urine and a tenner on a pregnancy test, I'll get an email right after I hit publish. Before you ask - I have no idea how I did. I am confident in how I presented myself in the four hours of various kinds of interviews I've had with my hopeful employers-to-be at anonymous university outside Philly, but you can never predict such outcomes, can you?

I was only in the States for a few days, but sans The Baggage, I managed to squeeze more into that period than I usually do in a month-long trip. I have a cluster of trip tidbits that I wanted to mention, so I'll just dispense of proper grammar and paragraph structure and just list things numerically. I may have disappeared from blogging for a bit, but worry not, my laziness remains intact.

1) On the flight to the States, I watched three films - The Time Traveller's Wife, The Ugly Truth, and a third which I have just now forgotten. Regardless, I have a lesson for you. If you have just left your family for the first time ever having only been away from your child for a maximum of 9 hours, DO NOT watch The Time Traveller's Wife. If you do, you will sit snivelling like an idiot, wiping your nose on the airline-provided blanket, ignoring the sidewards glances of the guy seated on the other side of the aisle, with your finger hovering over the "stop" button in case it all gets to be too much. I read the book and know it's a bit draining, so how I managed to not transfer this knowledge to my film decision making, I don't know.

2) The night I arrived I met the wonderful, glorious, hospitable, gorgeous Tash. I've neglected to meet up with her on past trips, and though we did not get to an XPN event, I greatly enjoyed the limited time I spent with her. I'm still paranoid that she probably felt I was way too comfortable, as I pretty much helped myself to her computer, drank her tea, and got all cosy in her kitchen. The lovely woman pretended I wasn't the rudest person in the world, and in my defense jet lag messes with my head a bit. My sense of tact which is always present starts to dissipate in fairly large increments once I've been awake for more than 18 hours. Tash's house is quite possibly, nay, IS, the most beautiful residence I have ever set foot in. I offered to move in straight away, and Tash gracefully deflected the offer and moved on to another matter quite quickly. We even hugged before I left, and let me tell you, I'm not much of a hugger so that Tash is one lucky broad.

3) My Kindle, which does not have 3G access when in the UK, enabled me to sit at lunch the next day and download books. It will take me years to get over the marvel of being able to sit on your toilet (if you so desire), order a book, and start reading it 30 seconds later. Unfortunately for constructiveness and my marriage, I downloaded Dragonfly in Amber. I've gushed about this series (Outlander) before, and just like the first book, I cannot.get.enough. I don't know what it is, because some of it is hokey as hell and the sex scenes just make me laugh, but they are so addictive. That, and I desperately want to have lots of The Sex with Jamie. It's weird to lust after a fictional literary character. I spend way too much time brainstorming about who would best suit Jamie in a film version, then pleading desperately with fate to actually make a film version. I don't think I'd be able to watch it, lest I suffer from some sort of death by rapid orgasm and expire in a public movie theater.

4) American rest stops. I love them. I don't know what it is, and maybe I've been away too long so as to find such ordinariness compelling, but I could sit in one for hours. I stopped in a wee one on the PA Turnpike to get a coffee, and my eyes couldn't dart around quick enough to take all the American goodness in. I think it's just such a symbol of Americana, with so many different types of people moving in and out with such rapidity. There's something so old school and mid-20th century about it.

5) I met someone else on my trip - see, I told you I was industrious! Guess who? She lives out Philly way, sassy as hell, and has been a blogging friend of mine since her first infertility blog when she called herself "Holly". It's STATIA! Let me just say, I'm the first one to admit that my real self is not nearly as outgoing and bold as my blog self, but Statia is the real deal. Blog Statia is real Statia. Bitch. We met for coffee in a great little coffeeshop round her way, and she even paid for my drink. She's a classy broad, that one. The best part is, even though I was dressed like a common post-interview streetwalker, she didn't even ask to cop a feel before she bought my drink. So well-mannered. Much like my time with Tash, my visit with Statia was hours upon hours too short, but we crammed in a lot of talking into not much time. I'm endlessly pleased that I bothered to fit her in this time, even if it was mainly to shut her up about my apparent constant dissing of her when Stateside. I loved that we were able to keep the antagonistic banter up in real life, as if we'd known each other for years. Oh wait. We have.

I'm sure there is more to my trip that would involve tales of my Mom's alleged ghost, by which I mean one which haunts my Mom's house, not the ghost of my still-alive Mom (who is here in the UK as we speak), Aunt Florence's recent begging episode, my mental insistence that if I get this job I should reward myself with a slew of art, and my annoyance with my home city that it is now cool - despite not being remotely so when I actually lived there.

My goal in life now is not to get this job, but rather to read some goddamned blogs. I miss blog-reading, but my life in the past six months has been entirely composed of visa paperwork, job searching, job applications, resume and cover letter modification, email correspondence with job folk, child rearing, home maintenance, work stuff, and a touch of animal husbandry. I can't wait until I have a series of evenings in which I can sit on my ass and read blogs. It would be like a dream come true.


nutsinmay said...

Oh, it's you. Hello, you! I thought you'd upped and moved back to the States for good, or been eaten by triffids, or both.

Fingers crossed for the interview. Almightly blog-meeting envy. Not to mention Kindle envy.

Tash said...

Gah, I was hoping for interview news. (Our meeting is mentioned on my blog, btw, one post down from present, in case you thought I forgot or something. Which I absolutely did not.) Oh, and the cute double around the corner SOLD so I'm still keeping eyes peeled for something fun in my 'hood. Keep me posted.

Lovely seeing you, you're welcome to my pissass excuse for tea anytime.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah--you beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech (that's bitch in case you couldn't sound that out, bitch). I would have freakin' driven up to Philly. I was only a few hours away.

Magpie said...

Good luck with that job!

Molly said...

1. Jealous of your meetings with blogging royalty.

2. Will they just fucking email you already?

3. Jamie. Oh Jamie. James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser. Ohhhh Jamie.

May said...

Step away from the redhead in the kilt. He's mine, you hear me? Mine!!!

DrSpouse said...

I'm exercising the power of self-preservation and NOT watching Time-Traveler's Wife, though I had been thinking of it.

Anonymous said...

Don't read Gabaldon's new one.

Just don't.

It will make you hate the world.

If you must read it, let me know and I'll send you mine. I must get that rubbish out of my house now.

(Everyday Stranger)

elizasmom said...

It's all crickets around here ex cept when it isn't, huh? Crossing my fingers for you, in part because if I am putting all the pieces together correctly, you could end up someplace that I would drive by on my way to see the sis or the FIL, ie more blogger meetups for you!

electriclady said...

Oh, but you couldn't bother to make a date to see ME, only an hour and a half away??? Next time you're in Philly you better let me know and I will take the train out to meet you.

I read Dragonfly in Amber and now have Voyager on hold at the library. But apparently there is only one copy in the entire NY public library system and there are 15 other horny ladies in line in front of me.

statia said...

I am also rather pleased you made it too, my friend. Finally!! I hope I swore enough for you.

Betty M said...

The interview stuff sounds very exciting, ditto the meetings with legendary bloggers. Hope that you have good news to share soon.

Uncommon Loon said...

Your home town is cool now? You'll have to let me know where to find this "cool" next time I'm in town. I'm very curious.

fisher queen said...

I love rest stops too...!