I seem to start every post with my apologies for repeating myself, as I apparently report most of my life on Facebook and Twitter as well. Ah, social networking cross-pollination, what a wonderful thing.
So yeah...uh, running. SORRY. Running and way too much work at, you know, work, are the reasons blog-reading have gone by the wayside. Well, that and all the power blogger ass kissing that is so rampant these days (cross-pollination again, mea culpa), but that's a topic for another day.
I try to run 20-25 kilometres per week, but sometimes life gets in the way. As I've mentioned before, some nights it's a struggle to do more than a few kilometres, which makes me very pissed off at myself for failing so miserably. However, though Thursday was one of those nights (struggled to get 3.5k done), tonight I pushed myself and ran 12.5k. That's the furthest I've ever run by 2.5k, and it surprised the hell out of me that my legs remained attached to my body as I climbed the stairs back to the flat.
I made a personal best time of 58.53 for 10K, and managed the whole thing in 1.16.00, so I am inordinately pleased with myself right now. Not to go all puppies and rainbows on you, but less than a year ago I couldn't run more than five minutes without nearly collapsing in a heap of sweaty, panting rotundness. I have my first 10K "race" next Sunday, which is almost precisely a year since I started this running business. I promised that I would post a photo of myself post-run, but I'm getting a-scurrred of doing that now, so we shall see. Maybe I'll just put a photo up of my rack in the race shirt, because let me just say, though I may look like a total flooze, they do appear rather magnificent in it. Speaking of boobs, they will not.go.away. I could run straight through to next week and subsist on a diet of celery and water, and those things would not go anywhere. Big boobs 4 lyf. Shit.
What is the point of this, shameless bragging aside? Well, I don't want to get all if-I-can-do-this-so-can-you(!!) happy clappy rubbish, BUT really. I might be one of the laziest people on god's green earth, yet I have managed to stick with this for a year now. The Dude admits that he had no faith in me - I've gone on exercise jags before and quit within a month. I've somehow just reached a place that I needed to be in order for this to work. I'm not convinced that you can just start exercising and get on with it if you don't truly want to do it. It just seems like you're punishing yourself, and if it's going to be a long-term change, what's the point of facing years of self-flagellation in the form of physical activity?
I know that sounded Oprahrific, sorry. I'm just powered by endorphins and some really fine vanilla custard that I had post-run. It just makes me happy to see THAT photo of myself from last summer and know that though I still don't love my body, I'm now only moderately repulsed. I can at least not feel physically sick when seeing it reflected back at me. I'm even hopeful that for the first time in her nearly three years, I consent to having my picture taken with P on her birthday. Small steps.
9 comments:
I think you're one hell of an amazing woman and I mean that!
Oh, Innard Twin. You inspire me, truly. I was thinking I might give running a try again, despite the fact that I hated it so ferociously the last time I tried. Because the time before THAT, when I managed to run through the initial hatefulness, it started to get better.
Anyhow, how long in TIME do you generally run a night? Do you actually run the whole way, or do you run and then walk a little and then run again? And, as a fellow PCOSer, I must know whether you have noticed a difference in your midsection (always the most tenacious fat for me)--have you gone down jean sizes, or lost muffin top? Lastly, how do you pin down that magnificent rack of yours to run? I always feel like I have to...hold mine somehow, even in a sports bra. Also I don't know what to do with my arms.
Again, I am so proud of and amazed by how much you have accomplished in the past year. xoxo
*sigh*
The boobs. Oh, the boobs. I'll tell you, they ballooned to epic proportions with both pregnancies. I began two cup sizes smaller than where I am now which, in terms of weight, is ten pounds lighter than I was when I became pregnant the first time. They just won't leave. Damn those boobs.
And Alexa, you don't just clutch yours when jogging? Where's the fun in that?
If only we could spread boobage out amongst people - I'd love to take some of yours, seeing as how I'm back to a measly A - and still nursing!! Ah well.
I'm so happy for you that you've stuck with the running - and even enjoying yourself (crazy though I think that is ;-)
Wow - impressive stuff there. As someone who rarely sticks to exercise for more than a few months I am in awe.
I hear you on the big boobs too - since succumbing and going to the place for busty girls I now have what is a truly comedy size. I dread to think what it would do in a running shirt.
Yeah. I have to admit that one of the things I liked least about traveling was the cramp it put into my running schedule. It's really, really hard to squeeze in a run anyhow, and then, if you're walking everywhere, miles and miles and miles, then you're too damn tired to run. Which sucks.
But at least it looks like I didn't lose too much muscle tone in my legs. I'm off for my first run since getting back home and I'm so looking forward to it. I have no intention of setting any speed records, but I will force myself to run at least 5k without walking. Considering that it has been over a month since I've done that, I'll consider that a major victory if I can make it. I also think that next week, I'm going to start over (once again) on my 10k training. While I can usually manage to run 10k, I really want to feel like I can do that distance without feeling any sort of struggle, and that only comes when I train for it. So, it looks like it's back on the training wagon for me (which I need anyhow. I really need the discipline that the schedule gives me, for some reason...).
As for the boobs... Oh, dear. I so, so, SO hear you. They will not go away. They just won't. Like you, I've been doing this for a long time, and it doesn't seem to much matter what I do- they just stick. Sigh. I was really hoping that going off the pill would shrink them, but that hasn't seemed to have happened yet. Oh, well. I'll just keep double-bra-ing it until by some miracle they go away.
Oh, and also- are you a Murakami fan? Have you read What I Talk About When I Talk About Running? It's good.
Ah, well, just now I'm doing the "before" pictures, but I've started running too, and it *does* feel good, even if it hurts. Congrats on loving the changes!
- Molly
http://roots-andwings.blogspot.com/
I think I envy you and your mad running skillz and your stick-with-it-ness more than words can possibly express.
Duuuuuuude — where is your race report? Am waaaaiiiiiting......
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