This post has been bopping around my brain like a jacked-up crackhead for months now. It's not like I'm going to break any blogging barriers here, discussing the played-out, godawful Mommy issue of judging, but I do want to discuss it anyway. People seem to call it "mommy wars", which just makes me think of catty little bitches with perfectly coiffed hair, driving their dreadfully suburban-named kids around in minivans. Therefore, I take no part in such endeavours.
I'm not against judgement - how can you not judge other people at all? If any of you are clear of judgement, parenting or otherwise, please tell me your secret. Is it ok to judge if the judgee isn't aware of your views? Do you only become judgemental once your views are known?
I've got this bee in my bonnet because I was reading a post on another blog about crazy Dr Laura's new book on how the only good mom is a SAHM, or something equally vitriolic. I have no time for that crazy witch, so I don't really care what she has to say. However, within the comments section a SAHM said that it is known that children with a stay-at-home parent (which, let's face it, is almost always the mother) are unequivocally better off than a child whose parents work full-time. Really? REALLY? Say what?
Fair enough to say that one way or the other is best for you, but is there a reason to tell us working mothers that we are raising our children in far less than ideal situations? Can't you just say "I love staying home with my BAYYYYYYBEEEES!" and be done with it? I get The Look all the time - the one that says "what are you doing here at work when you have a child?" Some people are so bold as to ask where P is during the day and how long she's in there, imprisoned. I know it's a well-tread topic on my blog, but each time I get The Look I feel like it's the first time I've been outwardly judged.
I judge all the time in my head - I have opinions on smoking and/or drinking around children, bottles, juice, bottles WITH juice, vaccinations, lack of discipline, blah blah blah. Am I still judgmental? I would never dream of vocalising my differing views to anyone but The Dude, but even with that limited audience I still do it from high atop my soapbox. My rationale is that at least I don't make people feel shit for their choices, choices that were best for them.
This rambling load of nonsense is just my way of petitioning people to just keep their opinions to themselves. It's fine to think that I'm a poor mother for abandoning my latchkey toddler, but save the raised eyebrows for someone who cares what you have to say.