Aw, I feel so loved, you dear, dear souls. People holding out on commenting again until I start commenting on your posts again - soon, soon. My Google Reader is morbidly obese with feeds, and I'm ever so slowly working my way through the mountain of unread posts. Work hecticness has prevented me from having proper lunch hours, which is prime blog-reading time. I get home in the evening and all I want to do is look after my kid and clean, so I just keep falling further behind in my reading.
I don't know what it is with this medication, but damn it if I didn't get positively giddy at the prospect of tidying up the flat the other day. I was sitting at work, giving my mind a chance to wander, and that's where it went. My stomach jumped in anticipation of doing dishes, picking up toys, and doing laundry. I faint, I lose half my body's blood during periods, and I have an innate desire and joy to clean - this stuff is great!
I thought I'd give a bit of background regarding this whole prescription debacle lest we all lose our heads and shake our fists at the injustices of the NHS. When I made my first appointment nearly two years ago, I was in a state which frightened me. My anxiety was dominating everything, and staying home with P all day, every day, did not help. I had a couple ocular migraines, my hands shook all the time, and I couldn't sleep. I made an appointment to see my GP, my gradual relief building as it got closer. I started crying as soon as I entered her office, and spent most of the appointment gasping for breath as I recounted how miserable I was. We all know what the recommendation was at the conclusion of that big old waste of time.
I tried again about nine months later. I was back at work, which wasn't the immediate balm I'd thought it would be. I saw a second GP, who advised me to take a walk. Ah yes, the age-old cure for depression and anxiety. After that, I just gave up and became resigned to the fact that I'd have to learn on my own how to deal with it all.
So what is right? Most GPs here won't dole out an anti-anxiety/depression medication upon the first request. Conversely, many US doctors are quite happy to shower their patients with any medication they desire. I know this first-hand anyway, but I also see it with my Mom. There is a faint rattle when she walks, she's so jacked up on medications her doctors have convinced her she needs. She is a relatively healthy woman amazingly, yet her plastic bag of pill bottles is the largest Ziploc freezer bag which can be obtained legally without rousing the suspicions of homicide detectives. I'm upset that she thinks she needs all of that in order to get by.
In my experience, you'd be hard pressed to find someone in the UK without a serious medical condition who takes anywhere near the amount of medications my Mom does. The Dude's parents are a few years older than my Mom and have health issues ranging from severe back problems to liver conditions, yet they don't need a separate room to house their narcotics. The Dude's grandmother is in her late 80s and I don't think she takes any more than one or two medications with any regularity.
I am annoyed with my doctors for not doing something sooner, but then again, is it right to see a patient for five minutes then prescribe a medication on that brief period of exposure? I suppose ideally I think it would have been best for the first GP to perhaps recommend I come back for a follow-up appointment in a few weeks' time, then ascertain the appropriateness of medication. Instead, she told me from the outset that she thought medication didn't solve any problems - what use is that when you should be trying to help people? I think I will always fail to see how the numerous issues caused by very heightened and constant tension, anxiety, and depression - can ever be the better option than being on medication temporarily.