Too much to say

I'm not the only one who thinks of many marvelous things to write about and then rapidly clicks away from Blogger as soon as a blank page is presented, I know this.  However, I doubt there are many that give up dozens of times over a period of months rather than weeks because really - what would be the point?  You've heard it all before, I've written it all before.

I want to write, desperately.  I just don't know what to say that can't be summarized in a few short sentences.  I don't know whether I'm measuring in weeks or months, but I sincerely hope to write again like I used to.  Thinking about those more prolific days makes me wistful, and I don't need to be more wistful.  I want that outlet again, but talking about Then just makes me dwell on the now. Now is bad, now is shit.  I was sad a lot Then, but I don't recall hating who I had become, and how I was to others. 

The gist, to spare you numerous posts of endless laments, is that I fucked up coming here.  I've probably said that in at least a couple of the 5 or so posts I've written since moving over almost two years ago.  I still hate my job with a fervor I never thought possible, The Dude is doing things he does not want to do in the absence of gainful employment in his field, I don't really like the United States and a lot of its inhabitants, and the second child issue is a further knife in the otherwise shitastic clusterfuck that was my decision to up and move back.  My girl is amazing, wonderful, and is what holds my shattered pieces together.  She is my constant.  I have had some "episodes" (for lack of a better word) of depersonalization, as diagnosed by the internet and my highly-qualified self, and she is the only thing which brings me back.

Since I now appear certifiably insane, if anyone else has experienced depersonalization before and cares to share their experiences, please do so in the comments or by email.  As we well know, I have always had some headspace issues, but not to this extent.  I have tried the "WE MUST GO BACK TO ENGLAND OR ELSE I WILL NEED TO BE COMMITTED!" approach, but here I remain.

So that's that.  Crazy.  Full of rage and hatred.  Looking for a cabin in which to live off the grid with my family.   What a post!


Orodemniades said...

Maybe you need to move to Vermont. Or some place not full of asshats.

Or maybe you need to move back to England. (I, personally, would never want to move back to Scotland permanently due to the sucking of my life's juices there, and PTSD, and All That Ensued)

SassyCupcakes said...

Depersonalisation sounds scary. I'm sorry life is shity right now. Except for your girl, I'm so glad you have your girl.

electriclady said...

I'm sorry everything sucks so bad. I wish I had something more profound and helpful to say. Is moving back a good (real) option?

DrSpouse said...

OK, I'm going to pretend this was me, though of course it isn't.

We had about 9 months with Mr Spouse unable to work (legally - not just lack of job - I'm not sure if that's your case or if it's just not finding a job). That was about our limit and I sympathise. Both of us found it hard though I enjoyed what I was doing, I slightly resented him not working at all (for the last 3 years he's been studying while I've been working, which is of course different).

However if we could have stayed significantly longer it would have made our adoption much much much quicker, cheaper, and easier. If you are even vaguely thinking of that, feel free to ask me for info.

I also get the impression that had we wanted to do ART it would have been easier and possibly quicker (though not cheaper certainly, and possibly not more effective, though of course we judged it's likely effectiveness to be zero so didn't bother).

Also, sympathy. I could not live in some parts of the US, certainly.

Tash said...

Good lord, please tell me I'm not the asshat? Or maybe, could you move further in? (My neighborhood is decidedly not asshatty.) (IMO.) Also, is it creepy that I want to just give you a hug? I'm so fucking sorry. I hate that you hate your job. Nothing like ruing a decision to stoke up the guilt.

Not sure if I can help with anything, but please email me if I possibly can. Otherwise, move back, I say.

David Haas said...

I have a quick question about your blog, do you think you could email me?

Jen said...

I'm so sorry the past few years have been so wretched. The combination of hating your job, hating where you live, infertility and moving are all huge stressors, so it's no wonder you're feeling crappy.

When I've had moments of depersonalization, it's been in the context of being very depressed. The rage, too, for me has come in periods when I've been depressed.

I wish I could make it better. Thinking of you.

Tommie said...

This all just sucks so much. I'm so sorry. My younger girl is a bit younger than your girl and I remember us sort of going through GERD/refluxy babies together and it was lovely to know I wasn't alone during the months and months and months of dealing with a screamy baby. I hope you feel a little less along having written this.

Thalia said...

I've had this window open for days and not known what to type so thought I should just type something.

I am sorry it's so shit

i think you need a doctor re the headspace - is that possible? Could you come back to the UK to see people and see a doc that way if there are health insurance issues? Feels like it's too hard for you to be coping with alone.

Non-working husbands are hard. I had one of those for a year and it drove me a bit batty after a while.

Why does himself want to stay in the US if you are miserable, he isn't working and it's generally tough?

thinking of you

HFW said...

Belated waving of supportive paw; I am a little behind with my blog-reading. This all sounds so Shitty, Pru, and I'm sorry. No advice on the de-personalwhatsit though, I'm afriad, except Get Thee To A Physician, because you absolutely do not have to feel like that.

SassyCupcakes said...

I've been thinking of you lately. I hope life is being kinder nowdays. Take care.

Kezya Wulandari said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along.I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Please don't forget to visit My Blog
Best Android
KitKat Launcher
Big Launcher
Anti Virus Apk
YouTube Downloader Pro Apk
MyniLyrics For Android
Thankyou ;)

Customer Care Number said...

Very nice blog. you will be appreciated to do some else more interesting.

Anonymous said...

http://refugiododiadia.blogspot.com.br/ seguem ae o meu blog :)

plastik rögar kapağı said...

it’s very amazing. Thanks for it.

plastik rögar kapağı

broşür dağıtım ankara said...

Broşür dağıtım hizmetinde Ankara'nın en iyisi olan
broşür dağıtım ankara hizmette
sinir tanimiyor...

chen wish said...

Nike LunarGlide 8 Shoes
Nike Air Max 2017 Shoes
Nike Free Flyknit 5.0 Shoes
Nike Mercurial Soccer Boots
Adidas Yeezy 350 Boost Shoes
Lebron James XIII Basketball Shoes

rwadksa.com said...

شركة عزل فوم

Wow Thinking said...

Good info, You can also Contact Apple Mac Support Number Canada at 1-844-389-4998 for online Help and more information.

hitaakademi said...

Ankara merkezli sanal gerçeklik oyun merkezi kurulum hizmetleri
VR CAFE Türkiye'de hizmet ve faaliyetlerini sürdürmektedir.

Unknown said...

Great Thanks

طراحی سايت

طراحی وب سايت

طراحی اسلايدر


طراحی لوگو

درب اتوماتیک


کرکره اتوماتیک

درب اتوماتیک پارکینگ

درب اتوماتیک شیشه ای

Bullion Jackpot Call said...

Excellent post regarding "Too much to say"

Intraday Free Trial | Mcx Tips Specialist

Unknown said...

Your Post Is Too Good and informative thanks for awesome post ------------

MCX Trading Call !!! Crude Oil Tips Free Trial

Aaru Garg said...

Nice post written.
Great content and description given.

Well in current time a ransomware virus is being a major hit on internet. Many cyber attackers are spreading ransomware to lock data and in turn demand for ransom.
To remove ransomware you can check on Ransomware removal tool .
ransomware removal is being search a lot and How to remove ransomware is providing the users on removing ransomware from PC.
Also browser hijacker is one of the virus category from malware family which infects your systems browsers.
So in order to get rid of this types of browser virus then go for browser hijacker removal tool and download the given free malware removal tool to remove all kinds of virus from your system.
There are many malware removal tool in market online and you can download the best ones which are free malware removal tool.
Trojan Horse removal tool removes all kinds of trojan horse virus from your system.
To removal all types of adware category of malware i.e a virus then go for adware removal tool

hitaakademi said...

Ankara merkezli sıramatik sistemleri kurulum ve teknik destek hizmetleri
siramatik Türkiye'de hizmet ve faaliyetlerini sürdürmektedir.

Aaru Garg said...

This is an amazing Article in terms of information, content and user readability. This blog is a representation of an extraordinary effort and research. I would like to address you about a similar website which delivers the best effective, authentic and efficient content on Astrology, Indian Hindu Calendar, Festivals like Ganesh Chaturthi 2017, Dussehra 2017, Kundali Matching, Janam Kundali, Purnima 2017, amavasya 2017, Gender Predictor and Chinese Gender Predictor. This website is one of the leading website in India in this vertical (Astrology). Your website is so impressive that I am taking down notes from your content to show it to my friends and colleagues. Keep doing the great work. Cheers!
Aaru Garg
A Member of Sun Sign Calculator Team

Unknown said...

شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالاحساء

Anonymous said...

nice !

Also See : http://chinesegenderpredictorchart.blogspot.com/2017/10/age-according-to-chinese-gender.html

Also See : adware removal tool

Also See : How to remove search encrypt browser hijacker

شركات خدمات منزلية said...

شركة الصفرات لرش المبيدات بالرياض

Free MCX Trading Tips said...

waoo well written post regarding Too much to say


Mcx Tips Free Trial | Crude Oil Trading Tips

hitaakademi said...

Ankara merkezli etkili sunum teknikleri
sunan Haluk GÖKŞEN arı kovanı
eğitimi ile sistematik bir yapı sunuyor.

Alina Li said...

Escorts Service in Dwarka, Delhi

Escorts Service in Mahipalpur, Delhi

Escorts Service in Delhi, Mahipalpur, Aerocity, Dwarka, Noida, Gurgaon, Faridabad and all Over Delhi Ncr

Foreigner Escorts in Gurgoan

Russian Escorts in Delhi

Escorts Service in Aerocity, Delhi

Call Girls Service in Noida

Escorts Service in Noida

gream said...

nice ! Club of Casino Lovers.

One of the experiences that will captivate you all the time is to visit our website. Gclub69 We have a service you can choose to play the style you like, no matter which casino you want to touch. Golden slot Or want to bet the most popular sports games we have for you. With VIP service delivered straight to your home, we consider you a key person with a new web form that makes you easy to use. Whether you bet on a PC or on a mobile phone, you will never be bored again.

We welcome all of our members with international standards and are ready to experience the premium casino experience. สล็อตออนไลน์ We provide special services such as you to enjoy our fun through the online gambling where you can choose to play online casino games to your liking. Games that let everyone choose to play with the brain, enjoy the exotic value of the service of online casino games continue to start to the value of service to play online. Enjoy the chance to win more than 10-30 million worth of money to the eyes of many people to make money off the shortcut to everyone.

hitaakademi said...

Ankara merkezli etkili sunum teknikleri
sunan Haluk GÖKŞEN arı kovanı
eğitimi ile sistematik bir yapı sunuyor.

Unknown said...

Its so impressive and nice lines in this blog.

NIOS Admission 2018
NIOS on Demand Exam

Unknown said...

So nice, you can also choose some from Wosports:
کرکره شفاف
طراحي سايت
جک پارکينگي
درب سکشنال
کرکره اتوماتيک
درب اتوماتيک شيشه اي
تاجران آريا دلفين
شرکت نوين گيت
درب ريلي اتوماتيک

Unknown said...

شركة المثالية للتنظيف بسيهات
شركة تنظيف بالجبيل
شركة تنظيف فلل بالجبيل
شركة تنظيف منازل بالجبيل

Bangalore Escorts, Independent Bangalore Escorts said...

Bangalore Escorts

Noida Call Girl

bangalore escorts

Escorts in Bangalore

Escorts Service Bangalore

Independent Bangalore Escorts

Thiết kế nhà biệt thự Kiến An Vinh said...

nice blog

House design company, beautiful villa design in Vietnam

 You are looking for:

biệt thự hiện đại

mẫu nhà đẹp

mẫu biệt thự đẹp

thiết kế nhà đẹp mới 2018

viagrajakarta said...

thank you for sharing
jual pil biru
pil biru asli
pil biru viagra
pil biru usa
pil biru pria
pil biru jakarta
obat pil biru
pil biru viagra jakarta
toko pil biru asli jakarta

لمار للتسويق الالكتروني said...

افضل شركات نقل عفش برابغ
دليل شركات نقل عفش برابغ
اسعار شركات نقل عفش برابغ
شركة نقل عفش برابغ رخيصة

Anonymous said...


Virus Removal Guidelines said...

I have read your blogs many times and I must say, every time I read it I get a good piece of information. Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft, Google Partner for “Data Transfer Project”

Virus Removal Guidelines said...

I have read your blogs many times and I must say, every time I read it I get a good piece of information. Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft, Google Partner for “Data Transfer Project”

manjeet said...

It is very informative. You have given a fresh outlook on the topic. I would definitely share this on other platforms as well.
If you are looking for a Car battery, Rihal Battery is the perfect way of buy car battery online and two wheeler battery online in jaipur at your place.

ElNaga7 said...

شركة مكافحة بق الفراش ممتازة
افضل شركة تخزين اثاث بالرياض
شركة تخزين عفش بالرياض مضمونة
كشف تسربات المياه بالرياض مع الاصلاح بالضمان
شركة تسليك مجارى بالمدينة المنورة
شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة
شركة تنظيف شقق ممتازة بالرياض
شركة تنظيف فلل وقصور ممتازة
شركة تنظيف مجالس بالرياض بالبخار
شركة تنظيف منازل مجربة بالخرج

ElNaga7 said...

شركة تنظيف منازل بالرياض عمالة فلبينية
شركة تنظيف واجهات حجر بالرياض
شركة تنظيف واجهات زجاج ممتازة بالرياض
رش مبيدات بالرياض مع الضمان
اسعار شحن العفش للاردن
شركة شراء اثاث مستعمل بالرياض ممتازة
شركة تنظيف بالخرج مضمونة
تنظيف مسابح شمال الرياض
ارخص شركة نقل اثاث بالخرج
افضل شركة شفط بيارات بالرياض

ElNaga7 said...

شركة عزل اسطح بالرياض
افضل شركة عزل خزانات بالرياض
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالخرج ورش مبيدات
أفضل شركة مكافحة حشرات وفئران بالرياض
شركة مكافحة صراصير بالرياض رخيصه
شركة مكافحة فئران بالرياض مجربه
شركة نظافة شاملة شمال الرياض
شركة نقل اثاث شمال الرياض
شركة نقل عفش من الرياض الى الامارات رخيصة
شركة نقل عفش بالرياض عمالة فلبينية

ElNaga7 said...

شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بجدة
مكافحة بق الفراش شمال الرياض
home leak detection services
floor cleaning company
pest control service in jeddah
Cleaning houses in Saudi Arabia
تركيب باركيه بالخرج
تنظيف بيوت شعر بجدة
تنظيف مدارس بالرياض
تنظيف بيوت شعر بالخرج

ElNaga7 said...

مكافحة العقارب بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الثعابين غرب الرياض
افضل عيادات تجميل الاسنان في مصر
مراكز اسنان بالقاهرة
افضل دكتور اسنان في القاهرة
طبيب اسنان بالقاهرة
شقق للايجار بجمصة
اسعار اراضي 15 مايو جمصة
شركة عزل اسطح بجازان

ElNaga7 said...

شركة رش مبيدات بجازان
شركة رش دفان بتبوك
شركة رش دفان ببريدة
شركة رش دفان بالاحساء
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض برماح
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بخميس مشيط
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بتبوك

Mid Night Lover said...

Bangalore Female Escorts
Bangalore Independent Escorts
Bangalore Escorts
Goa Escorts Service
Female Escorts Indira Nagar Bangalore
Female Escorts JP Road Bangalore
Female Escorts Vijay Nagar Bangalore
Female Escorts MG Road Bangalore
Female Escorts Koramangala Bangalore

Obat Liver Tradisional said...

Thanks for the information, this is very useful. Allow me to share a health article here, which gods are beneficial to us. Thank you :)

Obat Bintitan Paling Ampuh
Cara Mengatasi Kesemutan yang Terus Menerus
Cara Menghilangkan Abses Payudara
Obat Diabetes Herbal, Pengobatan Alami Diabetes
Pengobatan Alternatif untuk Syaraf Mata Rusak
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Tipes Super Ampuh

Housewife-Escorts-Aerocity said...

Hello! Check my new work in month. I am working on these keywords. I hope that you will be writing this post.
Escorts Service in Delhi
Call Girls in Delhi
Russian Escorts in Delhi
Escorts Service in Gurgaon
Call Girls in Gurgaon
Russian Escorts in Gurgaon
Escorts Service in Faridabad
Escorts Service in Faridabad
Escorts Service in Gurgaon
Escorts Service in Delhi

Unknown said...

very interesting post. keep on sharing such interesting content: online quran academy | online quran teaching | online quran teaching on skype | online quran learning | online quran teaching websites | online quran tutor | learn quran with tajweed | online quran classes | learning quran school | online quran teacher | learn quran online with tajweed | e quran academy | online quran teaching academy

Clipping Path Service said...

Thank you so much for the detailed article

Sharon Wood said...

Avast Phone Number
Norton Phone Number
McAfee Phone Number



PriyaRaz said...

call girls in Jalandhar |
call girls in Jodhpur |
call girls in Kanpur |
call girls in Kochi |
call girls in Kolkata |
call girls in Lucknow |
call girls in Ludhiana |
call girls in Madurai |
call girls in Meerut |
call girls in Mumbai |

David Millar said...

I am glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Keep writing. Photo Retouching Services

yanmaneee said...

cheap air jordans
nhl jerseys
supreme clothing
nike air max 97
curry shoes
kyrie 3
nike vapormax
nike air max
kevin durant shoes
cheap mlb jerseys

yanmaneee said...

hermes belt
nike shoes
timberland shoes
curry 5
nike foamposite
adidas tubular
off white hoodie
fila shoes
golden goose mid star

Tito Tenyadi said...

Hello, iam owner of Cobain Wallpaper, i really like this post, if you looking for wallpapers desktop or desktop background, you can find on Cobain Wallpaper, website has a lot of free hd desktop backgrounds and wallpapers desktop. Thanks you

Tito Tenyadi said...

Figuring out how to purchase or sell a property all alone is viewed as a simple arrangement. However, as you get included, it ends up being a trial.On the off chance that you keep away from the agent course, you are probably going to submit some normal missteps. At the center is sparing the commission. real estate near me real estate for sale In any case, managing property matters ends up being anguishing. Determine a large group of advantages by joining with a veritable, checked property agent who guides you all through the procedure. real estate taxes real estate australia Numerous realtors once in a while endure their mid 2-3 years. Reason being, they either disparage or overestimate what to charge for their administrations. Likewise, in light of the fact that an individual has recently chosen to be a property agent doesn't mean the person in question will get down to business and win business commissions right away. real estate broker real estate agent salary While there are various reasons, it bodes well, to utilize the administrations of, a quality, authorized, realtor, maybe, the most significant one, is, to employ somebody, with noteworthy, negotiating aptitudes, and capacities, so as to enable you, to get the most ideal outcomes. real estate zillow real estate offices near me Numerous variables sway, regardless of whether one gets you the best outcomes, you look for and need/need, including, getting the mortgage holder, the most ideal cost, in the briefest timeframe, and with, at least problem/stress. real estate consultant real estate new zealand In light of that, this article will endeavor to quickly look at, consider, and talk about, 6 keys to quality, proficient, land dealings. real estate new york

alışveriş teması said...

WordPress Themes And Plugins download

WordPress Themes And Plugins free download


فروش محصولات دکوراتیو said...

ساندويچ پانل

ساندويچ پانل سقفي

ساندويچ پانل ديواري
نصب ساندويچ پانل

ساندويچ پانل چيست ؟

وبلاگ ساندويچ پانل در تبريز
فروشگاه دکوراسيون

ميز TV
ميز تلويزيون

فروش محصولات دکوراتیو said...

دانلود قالب وردپرس

دانلود قالب فروشگاهي وردپرس

دانلود رايگان قالب وردپرس

دانلود افزونه وردپرس
سايت املاک تبريز
املاک وليعصرتبريز
املاک ائل گلي تبريز
کانال تلگرام املاک تبريز
املاک تبريز118
ملک تبريز

Adam Jon said...

You are able to download Office.com/setup com setup on the internet for receiving the benefits of word, excel and other utilities that are extremely helpful for documentation and also for company purposes. We give you online assistance for each and every sort of problems and assistance from Office.