4/08/2006

Kid gloves

Ah, finally...a little bit of good news in the IF blogosphere. It's about friggin' time.

For those either recently pregnant or still soldiering on with the hope of being pregnant, I warn you of one thing when pregnant: the sudden change of you as an independent woman to a delicate flower. Ugh. It sounds like a dream, right? No lifting, no stretching, no arduous tasks around the house. It's like post-retrieval time all over again, and wasn't that a dandy time? Three days of lounging on the couch wearing stained sweatpants and eating copious amounts of junk food is one thing, but when you have to covertly look over your shoulder and quietly lift a glass from the second shelf of your kitchen cabinets so as not to arouse suspicion, things have gone too far. Yesterday one of the glasses clinked against another and my cover was blown. A disembodied voice called out from the living room, "What are you doing? I hope you are behaving yourself!" Suddenly, I'm 6 years old again and have been caught climbing on the kitchen counter in an effort to reach the candy hidden on top of the fridge.

I have been advised not to walk home a certain way in broad daylight, especially if my MP3 player's headphones are visible. This was not a problem pre-Enid, in fact, it was recommended that I walk that way as it was quicker. It seems that my safety could be compromised when it was just me with barren womb, but put a life in there, and well...the rules have changed.

Caffeine is limited. I know, I know, that's a good thing. I gave up coffee (more or less) pre-IVF, so I've been off the juice for awhile. However, I like to have a cup of nice, strong coffee once every two weeks or so. When I tell The Dude how much I enjoyed my off-limits coffee, you'd think I'd just mixed up a nice cocktail of strychnine and arsenic to make my lunch go down a bit easier. I also like a Coke occasionally, about twice a week. This has been deemed as acceptable, as long as I do not exceed that dosage. The repercussions would be grand if I did.

Rubbing anti-stretch mark cream into my stomach so that I don't *hopefully* get any angry red streaks etched into me? I'm rubbing too hard. I'm bothering Enid. Enid even wants me to stop rubbing so hard, as I'm putting a dent in his/her head, or perhaps putting too much pressure on its torso. This extends to healthcare providers as well during ultrasounds and doppler sessions. When we had our 16 week scan The Dude was focusing more on shooting death rays at the ultrasound tech than he was watching the miniature rope-climber on the screen. He was actually moments away from asking her if she would mind relieving the pressure on my abdomen a little bit. You know, because she doesn't do dozens of these things a day. I would have laughed heartily at the time had I not thought it would result in a rather unfortunate expelling of gallons of urine.

The concern The Dude is expressing is overwhelming most of the time. However, he is also capable of moments of non-obsessive concern, as evidenced by yesterday's surprise for me. Lucky Charms AND Betty Crocker Cream Cheese Frosting? Uh, awesome. In case you're wondering, it's not like I'm baking a cake or something. I eat the frosting straight out of the canister. It's not weird in the least, ok? I use a spoon. Most of the time.

Additionally, any ill will I feel toward The Dude is obliterated when I'm getting the hairy eyeball during a doppler session at home and he says, "Don't push too hard, my baby doesn't like that." It's a simple statement, but to hear him say "my baby" fills me with a happiness I never thought I would be able to feel. I want everyone to know what that is like, especially when it always seemed such an impossibility.

15 comments:

Lindy said...

The "my baby" comment is just so sweet. And geesh! Could the Dude have a little chat with H. I got a lot of that delicate flower business the first time around, but this time, I think he completely forgets I'm pregnant at least half the time. On our trip home yesterday, he left me to change a totally nasty poopy diaper in a gross airport bathroom AND get the heavy suitcases off the baggage claim while he wandered off to "find a little snack for the drive home." Nice!

Beth said...

Your post just made me grin from ear to ear - I think I could deal with all that vigilance just to hear the "my baby" part too. Glad you are doing well.

Em said...

I think my hisband is going to get totally fixated on the baby when it arrives and I will become invisible. He is always telling me not to 'play' (I mean prod) with my baby inutero!

Kim said...

That's gorgeous. :)

Vacant Uterus said...

The Dude sounds like good dad material.

I eat icing out of the can, too! Sarge was mocking me for it just last night. I blamed it on his refusal to get me ice cream from the DQ that's practically in our back yard.

Molly said...

Mmm . . . cream cheese frosting . . .

Maybe you could convince the Dude that washing dishes is just too draining. And doing laundry. And cleaning the bathroom. Fumes, you know.

Alexa said...

That was adorable. I am a bit amazed that the Dude has such a strong psychic connection with Enid--strong enough to know that the rubbing of lotion "bothers" her. If the Dude can tell you what Enid does and doesn't like, I think you can do some of that yourself, i.e. tell him that Enid only likes you to eat frosting and watch America's Next Top Model, and that it bothers her when you, say, do anything else. Like work. Or move.

Alexa said...

That was adorable. I am a bit amazed that the Dude has such a strong psychic connection with Enid--strong enough to know that the rubbing of lotion "bothers" her. If the Dude can tell you what Enid does and doesn't like, I think you can do some of that yourself, i.e. tell him that Enid only likes you to eat frosting and watch America's Next Top Model, and that it bothers her when you, say, do anything else. Like work. Or move.

thalia said...

I'm glad the dude is making up somewhat for the lack of coffee. Although those would not be my snack of choice, I'm glad he's tuned into your needs!

elle said...

It's wonderful TD is so involved in it - it does seem so precarious sometimes. Hopefully once Enid is out he'll ease up a little. And you can go back to your cups of coffee. mmmmmmmmm

Nico said...

It's interesting that men seem to be much more concerned about messing with the babe than we are. I've also been told that Phred doesn't like to be poked. And am not allowed caffeine, or even a sip of wine. For crying out loud, I had to spend half an hour convincing M that it really truly was alright for him to put a bit of white wine on the chicken cordon bleu he was making!

pixi said...

I get that sort of thing from my family and even worse from my husband's family. They talk to me like I don't know how to take care of myself during pregnancy (that must be why I lost all of the other ones, right?) and it annoys the hell out of me. I know they're wellmeaning but...

Ornery said...

The Dude is adorable! Absolute daddy material.

Funny you should mention the Lucky Charms. I've had the biggest LC craving for the past several weeks. As for frosting straight out of the can, that's the best way to eat the stuff! When I was a kid, I used to lick all the frosting off of cupcakes and then leave the soggy cupcake remnants for everyone else.

Twisted Ovaries said...

Oh my God I miss Lucky Charms so much I could cry. I'll even take the new formula of it I want that damn leprechaun so much.

One Mother's Journey said...

Just found your blog. The "my baby" comment is absolutely adorable! Enjoy the Charms.